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Hollister
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August 10, 2022

Red Phone: Defending the sidewalk from reckless drivers

Our first Red Phone caller, a local man, reported he was

almost killed

when walking out of the Goodwill store on Tres Pinos Road. Who
is to blame? Our caller said it was cars driving on the sidewalk to
avoid speed bumps.
Our first Red Phone caller, a local man, reported he was “almost killed” when walking out of the Goodwill store on Tres Pinos Road. Who is to blame? Our caller said it was cars driving on the sidewalk to avoid speed bumps.

First of all – come on, people. Sidewalks are for pedestrians, not cars. Try to keep your tires on the street, please.

Secondly, our caller proposed a solution: installing poles to keep cars on the road, where they belong. Good thinking, dear caller.

A helpful staffer from the Hollister Planning Department informed us the property belongs to Hayward Investment, a company based out of Lemoore, Calif. The Crimson Crusader dialed up company President Elaine Chipman, who was sympathetic to our caller’s concerns. In fact, Chipman said she’s previously installed concrete poles, but had them removed when her prior tenant, a furniture store, complained the concrete was too ugly.

If Goodwill makes a request, Chipman said she’d consider putting the poles back. The crusader advises readers to bring their concerns to Goodwill management.

What, oh where, is the rain report?

Our next caller, another local man, wondered why the Free Lance no longer publishes a report on local rainfall.

Sadly, the Crimson Crusader must admit ignorance on this front. Being functionally illiterate, the crusader prefers to watch TV rather than read the Free Lance, so we do not recall seeing a rain report in this trusty local paper. Other staffers, including venerable editor Kollin Kosmicki, also failed to remember when the Free Lance in its storied past published a rain report or why it was cut.

But Kosmicki said a weekly rain report sounds like a great idea, and promised to start publishing one every Saturday.

That’s right, dear readers, the Hollister Free Lance listens to your concerns. Can your television do the same?

Red Phone on hold

Our final caller, yet another local man – where, we must wonder, are the women? – wanted to know why, after a week of repairs, the Union Pacific railroad crossing on Highway 25 is actually in worse condition.

Personally, the crusader has no complaints about the crossing, which we regularly traverse on our way to Red Phone corporate headquarters in Palo Alto. But it’s possible that our sweet ride, a Hummer, smoothes out the bumps.

The crusader called both the California Department of Transportation and Union Pacific to pass on our reader’s complaint. Sadly, those calls went unanswered, so you’ll have to wait until Saturday for answers.

Staff Report
A staff member edited this provided article.

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