A move so dumb only a human could make it
One afternoon I sat against the flagpole at the highest point of
Fremont Peak and watched a snake attempt a maneuver so dumb it was
nearly human. The snake was trying to scale a rock. I was seated
above the rock.
A move so dumb only a human could make it
One afternoon I sat against the flagpole at the highest point of Fremont Peak and watched a snake attempt a maneuver so dumb it was nearly human. The snake was trying to scale a rock. I was seated above the rock.
I tried to talk the snake out of it.
 ME: “Dude, that rock is, like, sheer. You’ll fall and break all your snake body parts.”
 SNAKE: “I will scale this rock, human, and will place your leg in my vice-like grip and pull you off your throne. Then there will be one less human to spoil my domain.”
The snake fell. It bounced off rocks and came to rest far away. It cursed me as it slithered to shelter.
 In 20 years of visiting Fremont Peak I’ve seen all sorts of animal behavior. There was the tarantula I helped cross the road. The pigs I ran into on a trail. The tiger swallows who spiraled high into the sky. The beautiful woman who held my hand as we watched snow fall on one side of the peak while the sun was shining on the other. The deer. The hawks. Lizards. The human who blasted music from a boom box on a Sunday morning.
 There is always something to see at Fremont Peak. On a clear day you can view Santa Cruz on one side, then rotate and see the Pinnacles. On a clear night the galaxy opens up like a movie screen.
 Soon, it is possible that our government will make a maneuver so dumb only humans could make it. Because we are unable to govern ourselves without sinking into debt, the Top Human in Charge may close 48 state parks. This will shave millions from a $14.5 billion budget shortfall.
 Fremont Peak would be closed. No Boy Scouts. No Girl Scouts. I once spent the night with 30 fourth-graders at the park. In darkness we trekked to the park telescope with flashlights, then viewed the sky through a dozen telescopes set up by friendly amateur astronomers. The schoolkids will have to learn elsewhere and spend a night outdoors elsewhere. The astronomers can take a hike.
 Closing Fremont Peak is the equivalent of eliminating six Yugos from our state automobile fleet. It is insignificant to the point of wasting time. But it is an easy target for the Top Human in Charge. It is a quiet place. It won’t complain.
Normally, the Top Humans in Charge would strip more public education from its bone. But we already force our children to pay cash to play sports, so this is becoming more difficult. They will do it anyway, and also scrap more public services that at one time we considered necessities.
Personally, I think our government should eliminate the middleman and open its own gambling casinos. Why bother with a pretense of morality when cash can be made that can soothe our debt? Share the sleaze, the demand is always high.
If you think I’m being harsh, visit a casino on a Saturday morning. You can buy some meth on your way in, sit at a blackjack table, start boozing, and watch citizens bleed cash their families could use.
Places like Fremont Peak are where we go to escape our sleaze. The clientele is generally quiet. Places like Fremont Peak and Henry Coe have soul. They are a respite from a culture of yelling. They are open to anyone. There was a time in our history when even our government considered it important to save and offer this soul to its people.
The Golden State is killing this soul. The state is becoming an ashtray. Go for a Sunday drive in your town or on our highways and tally the garbage lining the roadway. To do this, you will have to avoid potholes.
Fremont Peak offers long views, snakes, and tarantulas. They don’t offer the Top Humans in Charge much in the way of income. If we close the park snakes will get more peace. That much is positive, and not much else.
