This is the time of year we all focus on customs and traditions.
Many of these stem from religious or family customs we carry on or
make our own.
This is the time of year we all focus on customs and traditions. Many of these stem from religious or family customs we carry on or make our own. It might be something like gathering together to make tamales, a mass baking of cookies for friends and family, singing carols at church or lighting the candles on a menorah. No matter how corny others may think of our traditions, they usually mean something special to us.
Magazines and newspapers carry wonderful stories showing families gathered together in peace and harmony with tranquil smiles on their faces as if all is right with the world. But there are those customs and traditions that don’t make it into the countless sweet stories of the season. These are the customs no one talks about, those little traits we do year after year that eventually become the underlying stress of the season.
Some are obvious. Traffic is heavier, stores more crowded, budgets stretched beyond repair, so we walk around with teeth clenched in an imitation of a smile. We all buy into the belief this is a time for families to be together. A wonderful sentiment, but what do you do if half the family lives in California and the other half in New York? Trying to be equal in the sharing of family holidays is a near impossibility. The best we can do is take turns, something we learned back in the days of kindergarten.
Parents fret over being equal in what they spend on their children. Lists are made, price tags checked and calculators turned on. Being fair is very important to not hurting any feelings. Young children can have a hard time grasping this concept. If Johnny gets one new bike and sister gets 10 new less expensive toys, are the parents really being fair?
For many of us there is the traditional stress of wondering whether to buy something for our co-workers. If you work with two or three people, it’s a no-brainer to buy a nice little something for everyone in the office. Of course, there’s always the worry about how much to spend on each person. But what happens if you work with 50 people? How can you let everyone know you appreciate them without going broke? How about the boss? Do you include him or her in the purchase? A stressful tradition to say the least, but one many of us go through.
How about the custom of sending Christmas cards? A wonderful sentiment. It’s great to know that at least once a year we’ll hear from distant family members and friends who have moved far away. It’s much easier to include everyone on the Christmas card list. It’s cheaper than a gift, yet still lets others know we’re thinking of them.
That lasts until we find ourselves sending out 200 cards. Just signing and addressing 200 cards can take every spare moment we have. Forget about writing anything personal in the cards – we’ll be happy to get them all signed and stamped. Some people don’t mind buying printed cards and printing out address labels on the computer but they’re not following traditions set up by our ancestors. A card’s not really a card without a personalized signature – or so tradition says.
Then there’s the custom of picking out the Christmas tree. This should be a stress-free event, but many of us turn it into a rather unpleasant custom of trying to please everyone. Little Becky wants a Douglas fir while cousin Tommy wants a long-needled tree. Grandma wants a flocked tree and dad would prefer an artificial one. In the end, mom heads out to buy the tree, knowing that no matter what she chooses someone will be horribly unhappy. Oh well, another holiday custom fulfilled.
Overindulgence is a tradition many of us embrace this time of year. It starts with Thanksgiving when more than the turkey ends up being stuffed. Who can resist all the candy, cookies and specialty foods made during the holiday season? Surely a few extra nibbles wont hurt.
After the new year a plethora of January customs kick into play. These include stressing over new credit card debt, trying to shed those holiday pounds and swearing that next year we’ll modify our habits during the holiday season.
Ahh, traditions. How dull life would be without them.
