James Bond and
breadsticks too!
Last week I was just on a fishing expedition when I suggested
San Benito County Supervisor Jaime De La Cruz wanted to put a hotel
in his neighborhood like the one he wants for Tres Pinos. But could
it be true? I know other supervisors and local politicians are for
building the Bates Motel of hotels in a Tres Pinos residential
neighborhood despite 83 percent (with a margin of error of plus or
minus 69 percent) of Tres Pinosians against it. The difference is
that seasoned politicians, unlike Jaime De La Cruz, are not
impressed by swanky sit-down dinners at the Olive Garden. Gee, we
get bread sticks too!
James Bond and
breadsticks too!
Last week I was just on a fishing expedition when I suggested San Benito County Supervisor Jaime De La Cruz wanted to put a hotel in his neighborhood like the one he wants for Tres Pinos. But could it be true? I know other supervisors and local politicians are for building the Bates Motel of hotels in a Tres Pinos residential neighborhood despite 83 percent (with a margin of error of plus or minus 69 percent) of Tres Pinosians against it. The difference is that seasoned politicians, unlike Jaime De La Cruz, are not impressed by swanky sit-down dinners at the Olive Garden. Gee, we get bread sticks too!
Things that keep me up at night. Why did Taco Bell just open up a Taco Bell in Mexico? Revenge?
Another reason I wear an aluminum covered colander on my head: when I hear voices I want better reception. Why is it in movies when actors turn off lights in the bedroom the room gets brighter? And if my son isn’t the Chosen One why is it that I was born on the 11th and Nancy was born on the 7th which adds up to 18 and our only begotten son was born on the 18th.
Speaking of Roger Moore last Sunday was his 80th birthday. Moore was the “fun” James Bond. Last week we attended his star ceremony on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Last time I saw Moore was in 1984 when I lived in San Francisco. I had just dropped my son, The Chosen One, off at the now-defunct Regency Theater on Van Ness Avenue, as it was the last day of “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Dumb.” But David liked it so much he had to see it for the 12th time. As I drove by the world’s most beautiful city hall, I noticed they were shooting scenes for the latest James Bond film “A View to a Kill.” I drove back to the Regency and pulled David from the theater and we headed back to city hall. We walked up the long steps but couldn’t get in. We waited a few minutes and as we walked down James Bond, all alone, came out of his trailer and asked if he could help with something. James Bond asking if he could help … we weren’t speechless and said “with everything.” He laughed. Roger was the nicest big-time actor we had ever talked with. After our nice chat we shook hands as he told us about the next night’s shooting in a fire truck racing down Market Street. We were there.
So was Richard Kiel, his old nemesis. Kiel is that giant of an actor who played the bad guy Jaws in “Moonraker” and “The Spy Who Loved Me.” And where did the Hollywood star ceremony for James Bond take place? Where else but 7007 Hollywood Boulevard. God how I love living in Hollywood. Aye chee waa waa.
Why wasn’t I surprised that O.J.’s Rolex was a fake? I’ll bet his real name isn’t Orange Juice either. Old Jerk?
Thank goodness the 49ers were smart enough to hold on to Gilroy’s Jeff Garcia. What a gutsy player. What? They didn’t? That great last-minute drive and win was for Tampa Bay. But according to the headline “49ers sign former beer truck driver.” Well, if I got rid of Jeff Garcia for the quarterbacks they now have I’d call a beer truck too. Aye chee waa waa.
Loved this ad in the Hollister classified ads. “Inflatable 3 man boat w/ oars and air pump. Holds 200 lbs.” Huh? A three-man boat holds 200 pounds? Well, let’s see if my math is right. The seller would have to find three men who weighed 66 2/3 pounds each or sell one to each Rosie O’Donnell.
Speaking of water and Hollister, one older citizen, growing constipated over Hollister’s sewer rates, calculates that it’s costing him $4 a day to “drop the kids off at the pool.” He’s looking into the cost of parking a porta-potti in the yard.
Loved that Hollister crime blotter about the guy picked up for indecent exposure. He simulated masturbation. Only in Hollister is simulating masturbation indecent exposure. What did he expose? What next? The Hollister police arresting an air guitar player for playing too loud? Thank goodness you’re going to vote for a costly tax increase because Hollister needs more high-priced cops to stop simulating masturbators. Why not just hire no cost simulated police? Aye chee waa waa.
Maybe Supervisor Jaime De La Cruz can appease those Tres Pinosians by putting an Olive Garden in the much-hated proposed hotel. One can only dream, Jaime. And gee we get bread sticks too!
