Have you noticed what an angry place the world is getting to be?
It seems to pop up everywhere: at home, at work, on the road, at
play. Even on Valentine’s Day, a holiday we have set aside to
celebrate love and romance, there will be anger in the hearts of
some that all the flowers, candy and cards in the world won’t
help.
Have you noticed what an angry place the world is getting to be? It seems to pop up everywhere: at home, at work, on the road, at play. Even on Valentine’s Day, a holiday we have set aside to celebrate love and romance, there will be anger in the hearts of some that all the flowers, candy and cards in the world won’t help.
Why is anger so prevalent? Usually anger is caused by one of three things:
Fear: When animals are trapped in a corner and sense no way out, they become fearful and quite ferocious. The same is true with us. When we feel trapped in a relationship or a situation, we usually respond with fear and then anger.
Frustration: When nothing we do seems to make things better, we get frustrated and angry.
Hurt: It can be physical, emotional or relational, but all of us have a tendency to lash out in one way or another when we are hurt.
Since hurts, frustrations and fears are inevitable, we are all going to get angry at times. What we need to learn is how to release that anger appropriately.
There is a myth in our culture that says everyone has a certain amount of anger. We are told that each of us has a reservoir of anger we need to get out, and when we vent that anger we will feel better. This is not so. We are not like reservoirs that contain a limited amount of anger – we are more like factories! We just keep on producing more and more anger. Study after study has proven that aggression only produces more aggression. In other words, we reap what we sow.
So what are you to do with your anger? First, let me suggest three things not to do: Don’t hold it in, don’t deny it exists, and don’t express it negatively (through violence or sarcasm or rudeness).
Instead, when you are angry, admit that you are angry and determine the cause. Ask yourself what hurt, frustration or fear has made you angry. Then make a long-range plan to control your anger. The key to this planning is found in Romans 12:2, “…be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
Why start with your mind? Because the way you think determines the way you feel which will determine the way you act. You act angry because you feel angry, and you feel angry because you are thinking angry thoughts. If you want to change, you need to re-pattern your thoughts.
I would recommend you find the verses in the Bible that deal with feelings that are the opposite of anger and read them on a daily basis. Philippians 4:8 says, “you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious – the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.” Why does God tell us to focus on such things? Because we cannot be filled with anger when we are focused on the things of God.
If you doubt this, try an experiment: Go grab any tube in your medicine cabinet, take the top off and squeeze it. What comes out? Whatever is inside! The same is true with us. That is why God tells us in Galatians 5:22 to be filled with the “fruit of the Spirit” (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness and faithfulness). You can’t be filled with these and be filled with anger at the same time.
When life puts the squeeze on, whatever is inside you is going to come out. If you are filled with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness and faithfulness, that is what will come out. On the other hand, if you are filled with anger, hurt or frustration, don’t be surprised when that is what comes out.
I have found that when I am filled with anger, almost anything can set me off, but when I am filled with God’s love, almost nothing can upset me. Have you found that to be true in your life as well?
