Tailgating without the tailgate
It is criminal that the California Legislature is getting into
bed with casino owners. Why would anyone think they will get a fair
shake from those liars, thieves who ruin more lives than an
outbreak of Yoko Onos? No, not the casino owners. I’m talking about
the California Assembly and Senate. Aye chee waa waa.
Tailgating without the tailgate
It is criminal that the California Legislature is getting into bed with casino owners. Why would anyone think they will get a fair shake from those liars, thieves who ruin more lives than an outbreak of Yoko Onos? No, not the casino owners. I’m talking about the California Assembly and Senate. Aye chee waa waa.
Stop the presses! Duncan Hunter dropped out of the presidential race. Who is Duncan? Precisely why he dropped out.
JoAnn Machado of Hollister was spotted in Hollywood at the world premiere festivities on Hollywood Boulevard for the Hannah Montana 3-D concert on film at the famed El Capitan on Jan. 7. Is it because JoAnn loves Hannah or is it because she is from Montana? By the way, why were tourists asking Machado for her autograph? Because she looks like a star.
Todd Owezarzak is the smartest businessman in Hollister and Carly Simon certainly didn’t have Owezarzak in mind when she sang, “you’re so vain.” Todd is anything but. He is co-owner of a gift shop and didn’t name it after himself but opted for Kelly’s Gifts rather than Owezarzak’s Gifts.
Another “only in Hollister.” A tailgate party makes the police blotter in Hollister. What was stolen from the tailgate party? The tailgate.
How much do you think the Clintons paid John Kerry to endorse Obama? Since Kerry’s endorsement Obama has O-bombed.
When Suzanne Pleshette died so did the sexiest voice in movies. She started in films in 1958, the year I was married and I fell in love with her in the Steve McQueen film “Nevada Smith.” Her role in Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds” only solidified my love for her and her voice.
Speaking of voices – and boy do I hear them all the time – when Allan Melvin died so did a lot of cartoon voices. While most recognize him as Alice’s boyfriend Sam the butcher on “The Brady Bunch,” I remember him from seeing him in San Francisco where I lived in the late 1960s and on the old black and white “Phil Silvers Show.” He played a soldier whose barracks was addicted to gambling so the commanding officer made him and an overflow group of soldiers listen to a lecture. Unfortunately the lady giving the lecture tugged at her dress and naturally the guys made bets on how many times she would tug at her dress during the anti-betting speech. Melvin had to relay the scene to the outside crowd. “Forty-three tugs … now she’s up to 47 … now she’s past 52 tugs and not even breathing heavy.”
I know it’s shocking that soldiers gamble. But my question for the day is why when I was 20 years old in the U.S. Army on Okinawa that despite being a natural born citizen of the United States with a Top Secret clearance I was not allowed to vote? Answer next week.
Television tip if you like sit-coms without laugh tracks but most importantly written with wit. It is a hard-to-find show out of Canada called “Corner Gas.” And no, it is not about Hillary Clinton giving a speech on a corner. Last week one of the characters was asked if he wanted to join a charity fun run. Without missing a beat I finished the punch line before the telly. Fun? Run? I know I have never been on a run, fun or otherwise.
Who says nothing good comes from the writers’ strike? Cancellation of the Golden Boob Awards. They have so many categories that unless you’re Rosie O’Donnell you’re assured of a nomination. The only good win in the half hour truncated announcement was the win for best actress – Marion Cotillard as Edith Piaf in “La Vie En Rose,” the film I raved about months ago as my favorite movie of the year, but one I can’t recommend except to those who love foreign films.
I “forgot” to give you the phone number of the Pinnacle complaint department if you want to get me fired. The Pinnacle complaint department has been outsourced to India. The number to complain about my column is 69-6969-69, Punjab, Old Delhi, India. The call is toll free if you live on Cow Dung Lane and Floral Avenue in Old Delhi. For all others a minimum $25 per minute per call. When you do call to get rid of me don’t be confused if a white-sounding guy answers “Hello y’all” as the Patels as the dollar has dropped have the outsourced calls to their 7 Eleven in Crawford, Texas. “Condoleeza, turn the damned radio down!” Aye chee waa waa.
