The never-ending nominations
Are they over yet? The Golden Globes, day 6. Did they nominate
Buckwheat? More later, but first…
The never-ending nominations
Are they over yet? The Golden Globes, day 6. Did they nominate Buckwheat?
More later, but first…
What are the odds of Moses wife and Lily Munster passing away on the same day? Sadly very good when Yvonne DeCarlo died last week. She was the love of every pubescent male in the early ’50s when she lit the screen in her harem outfits in just about every sand-and-sandal movie ever made. Whenever an Yvonne DeCarlo or Rhonda Fleming heaving-breast feature would play the old State Theatre in Hollister you had to fight for a seat in the first row. Even the great actress Piper Laurie who was nominated for an Academy Award for the “Hustler” with Paul Newman wore those skimpy outfits in films such as “The Prince who was a Thief” with Tony Curtis who still had his thick New York Bronx accent. Comedians had a field day with his ‘Yonder is da castle of my foda”.
Goodnight Mrs. Munster, goodnight Mrs. Moses thanks for the great memories and the great tingles. Britney Spears and Paris Hilton could learn a lot about what is sexy. Skimpy is sexy, panty less is what you would expect from the little old blue haired lady’s porn star grandniece. Aye che waa waa or rather hairless chee waa waa.
The Golden Globes by mistake did two things and only two things right. Gave Clint Eastwood the best director of a foreign film award with his “Letters from Iwo Jima.” The other was giving “Babel” the best movie of the year despite snubbing Mexican director Alejandro Gonzalez Inarrito’s effort in “Babel” for Martin Scorsese. I told you they had to give it to Scorsese this year as some still like to think he’s the world’s best director without an Oscar win. But the Mexican director should have won with “Babel.” How do you win best picture in an acting driven movie (3 actor nominations) and not win best director. Where is the queen of LULAC when I need her? Aye chee waa waa!
We don’t have an NFL team in Los Angeles and the taxpayers here are in no mood to give up their first child for the outrageous demands of the NFL. Although I would give up my first born.
So without a Los Angeles team, we adopt the San Diego Chargers when they are winning. They had the best record 14-2 in the regular season but now everyone wants to fire the coach because he lost the playoffs. “He” lost the playoffs? Did he drop the passes that were set perfectly in their hands? Did he pull some of the most stupid penalties ever? Never have I seen any team self-destruct before my very eyes. Well except when people take the oath for the Hollister city council.
Helen Merrin, that classy actress who won the Golden Globe for “Queen” (a role I turned down) made me laugh when interviewed after her win. She said she was an Essex girl and said her winning was like having an orgasm. She asked “You know when an Essex girl has an orgasm, that’s when she drops the fries”. Hey I think most Hollister High males from the 1950s know the feeling. “Lets drop by Foster’s Freeze first.” Will you have fries with that orgasm?
Here in Hollywood movies run for months, even Pauly Shore movies. Living in Hollister in the ’50s, movies would change three times a week so unless you caught “High Noon” or “Bridge over the River Kwai” for its 2 or 3 day run, you were out of luck. Last year I went to see “How the West Was Won” in the original three projector Cinerama process at the Cinerama Dome. Only one of the three theatres in the world that is equipped to show the defunct process attracting audience members from all over the world. With the little booklet they gave us was the nonchalant story that when “West” played in Hollywood in 1964 it played the Warner Brothers Hollywood Cinerama Theatre for 97 weeks.
That is not a typo, 97 weeks! That’s almost a year. Hey, I graduated from Hollister High and was too busy dropping French fries. Down the block at the Pantages at the same time “Cleopatra” with Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton was in its 72nd week. Again almost a year. On Sunset and Vine at the Cinerama Dome “It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World” played 66 weeks. At the Warner Beverly Hills “Lawrence of Arabia” had been playing 45 weeks. Almost two years!
So what does the overlong Golden Globes do with its 2,000 categories this year? Add a new one. Best Animated film. Get real. Animated films are just cartoons stretched from 10 minutes to two hours. Not one full length animated film in the past 10 years had as many laughs in two hours as the Road Runner gave us in 10 minutes.
The show has ended! The final category, best actor of the Mexican persuasion. The winner. Speedy Gonzalez. Aribba! Aribba!
