So here we are—in the middle of graduation season in the South Valley. From preschoolers who look so cute in their hats and Hawaiian leis to Gavilan College graduates, someone, somewhere is starting a new chapter in their life.
For me, it’s my son. I started writing this column when he was in kindergarten. And now he is graduating from high school. I cannot tell you how proud I am. And I cannot tell you how panicked I am when I realize I’m not done. I haven’t finished teaching him all the stuff I’m supposed to teach him.
1. Sorting your clothes is important.
Nobody wants to see pink tighty-whiteys. And frankly, if you are able to stumble out of high school, you should be able to sort laundry into lights and darks. Seriously. I don’t care if you thought math was stupid or Shakespeare was boring. Sorting clothes is so easy that you could probably do it during a zombie attack.
2. Credit cards are the root of all evil.
Look, the truth is, credit card companies know you are fresh out of school. They know you are just beginning your life as an adult. And most importantly of all, they know you have absolutely no money to buy anything, but great desire to buy everything you see. So they call you. They write you. They try to seduce you with promises of free steak knives if you apply for a credit card.
Here’s some advice: credit cards charge at least 25 percent in interest. That’s not 25 percent on your purchase. That’s 25 percent on the money you owe them every month, which will add up to a lot. It’s not worth it. Not even for steak knives. And seriously, you can’t afford steak anyway.
3. You will fail. All of us do.
Some of us fail spectacularly. Some of us just stumble a bit. The truth is, failure IS an option and it always should be. Do you think Thomas Edison woke up one morning and invented the phonograph? No. Do you think the Leaning Tower of Pisa was built that way on purpose so that hundreds of years later Italy would have a really cool tourist attraction? No.
Everyone fails. It’s what you learn from it that makes the difference. And yes, I do know there are more leaning towers in Italy. Some of us take a bit longer to learn, but still, we learn. Because the alternative is to have a tower fall on our heads.
4. You will find true love. You will probably find it more
than once.
True love is not something that just happens. No lightning bolts fall from the sky, alerting you to the fact that the cute girl standing behind you in the Starbucks line is going to be the mother of your children. The truth is, you meet a lot of “true loves.” This is because you have to fail at love to realize that it’s really, really hard to make it succeed forever. To be a good true love to someone else takes practice. And many, many awkward dates.
5. Vote.
You are a grown up now. You have to do grown up things, like work or go to college. You have to pay taxes. You need to vote. You have a say in how our government is run. And yes, sometimes it is run poorly. And yes, sometimes I have gone down to the polling place and had to decide which person to vote for by determining which one of them was the least stupid. But ask anyone in a country where there is no voting or where votes are manipulated and they will tell you that they would love to vote. So use yours. If not for me, use it for them.
6. Don’t be afraid to learn. And don’t ever stop learning.
You weren’t born with the knowledge of the universe in your head. Heck, as a newborn you couldn’t even raise your head, let alone speak or use a toilet. It all happened gradually. And all that learning has exercised your brain. You wouldn’t just stop working out and not expect to have butt like mine, would you? No. So keep working your brain.
And above all, remember, this is a new chapter. It’s not an ending. It’s just new. Embrace it.
