Over the years, many readers and friends have sent me versions
of the following anonymous excerpt from a 1950s textbook for girls
and young women on how to be a good mom. In fact, I’ve received it
so many times, I can’t help wondering if everyone is trying to tell
me something or scare me. Whatever the reason, I’ve come to one
conclusion: The rules are much easier to update than to follow. In
fact, I’m so good at this, if I may say so, that I think I should
write my own textbook on being a good mom.
Over the years, many readers and friends have sent me versions of the following anonymous excerpt from a 1950s textbook for girls and young women on how to be a good mom. In fact, I’ve received it so many times, I can’t help wondering if everyone is trying to tell me something or scare me. Whatever the reason, I’ve come to one conclusion: The rules are much easier to update than to follow. In fact, I’m so good at this, if I may say so, that I think I should write my own textbook on being a good mom.

1950s: Serve meals on time, and always have on hand nutritious, healthy snacks for children. This is a way of letting them know that you have been thinking about their needs, and of teaching them not only good nutrition, but being a good role model for your daughter, who will someday be serving dinner for her family.

2007: Try to eat dinner together at least once a week. Plan ahead by keeping numbers of restaurants that deliver next to the phone, and make sure you don’t feed the kids take out more than four times a week. When the kids raid your pantry, make sure that if they aren’t eating fruits, there are at least some fruit-flavored snacks in sight. No, there isn’t any larger health benefit by doing this, but you’ll feel better.

1950s: Take your children out to the park, or experience nature in a nearby field or patch of woods. They’re independent, of course, and when you’re too busy to take them somewhere, feel free to set them loose out of the house to explore the world on their own. There’s no reason for them to be cooped up indoors watching television.

2007: By all means, take your children to a park, but don’t forget to pack your mace and set your speed dial for 911, just in case the playground is overrun with teenage thugs who look like muggers-in-training. Or go experience nature by finding a state park or privately owned forest, where you can pay a few dollars to see wilderness the way it once was, oh, I don’t know, back in the 1950s. And, yes, if you’re too busy to take your children somewhere, feel free to set them loose out of the house to explore the backyard on their own, provided you have fencing 14 feet high and a security dog monitoring the premises. But, honestly, why take any chances? There’s no reason they shouldn’t be cooped up indoors watching television, or playing some sports on a computer game console.

1950s: The goal of a good mom – to try to raise healthy, happy, intelligent, physically fit, confident and independent children.

2007: Ditto. Couldn’t have said it better myself. Fortunately, some things never change.

Debbie Farmer is a humorist and a mother holding down the fort in California, and the author of “Don’t Put Lipstick on the Cat.” You can reach her at [email protected].

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