Agency serving county residents pairs children, adoptive parents
Diane Teves and Mike Lee have grown their family by two since 2009 with help from the Kinship Center. That was the year they got a call that 4-year-old Jacob needed a place to live and they began the nine-month process of adopting him. They are now in the process of adopting an 8-year-old boy as well.
“I started out hosting foreign exchange students when Eric was a baby,” Teves said, of her biological son. “But as he got older, my son had a hard time letting them go.”
She stopped hosting the students, but started to consider adoption as a more permanent way to add to the family. Teves contacted the Kinship Center office in Salinas, which works with families in Monterey, San Benito and Santa Clara counties. She was invited to an informational meeting to learn more about foster adoption.
“The main thing we had to go through was a home study,” she said. “It took about six weeks to get all the paperwork and fingerprinting. They check to make sure the home is child safe.”
Lee, who splits his time between a job with the Camp Pendleton Fire Department and Hollister, said it took him longer to finish the courses as he is home for eight days at a time and then in the San Diego area for six to seven days.
He mentioned the binder of paperwork they received.
“There’s a lot involved,” he said, holding his hand up above the kitchen counter. “I’ve got binders that thick full of paper.”
A growing family
Both parents smile as Jacob, now 6, bounced around their living room with boundless energy in a pair of Star Wars Lego pajamas. The couple had such a good experience they are now in the process of adopting the 8-year-old boy, whose identity is protected until the adoption is finalized. They said they would consider adding a girl to the family in the future.
Teves said that the biggest challenge with the adoption was not the paperwork, but getting Jacob to settle in. She said that when she first met him, social workers said that he had been severely neglected. She noted that he didn’t know how to ride a tricycle, hold a pair of scissors or how to use crayons. She was told that he might be severely mentally retarded.
“From day one when I saw him and watched him, I knew inside that there were no signs he was that delayed,” Teves said. “A lot of kids just need a home, love and a family.”
In the first months she had to take Jacob to counseling and medical appointments. But she said Jacob flourished with the family as he learned to ride a bicycle, draw and started to hit his developmental marks. Eric also had a period of adjustment as he had to learn to share his belongings and parents with another child.
“At first it was a bit of a hard time, but they’ve both transitioned,” Teves said. “They go to Spring Grove and they do everything together. They are almost inseparable.”
The family has a routine now, with Teves getting the kids up and ready for school before she goes to her full-time job as a radiologic technologist at Hazel Hawkins Hospital. She does have support from her parents who live near the boys’ school. When Lee is home, he takes over most of the kid duties. They like to travel on the weekends, and often take camping trips with Teves’ nieces coming along, too.
Teves did note that a key ingredient for adoption is patience, something with which Yvette Blanco agreed.
Prospective parents need patience
“You have to really be willing to be patient,” said Blanco, a family developer for the Kinship Center Gabilan Chapter, which services San Benito and Monterey counties. “Patience goes along away. It does take a significant amount of patience.”
She said the first question prospective parents usually have is how long the adoption process will take.
“The answer is I can’t give an answer,” Blanco said. “It depends on various factors and what a family is open to. The more open they are to children of any ethnicity, an older child or school-age child, or a sibling set decreases the chances of waiting.”
Teves and Lee were open to a child of any background up to the age of 6 for their first adoption, which led to Jacob being placed with them soon after they completed the requirements to become eligible foster parents.
She said the second question she usually gets is if a birth parent can take the child back.
“Once the adoption is finalized, the adopted parents are the legal parents for that child,” Blanco said. “It’s a permanent situation.”
The first step for those interested in adopting a child is to attend an informational meeting. The meetings are held once a month and are free to those wanting to get more information.
“We provide information for them to take home and read through as well,” Blanco said.
The requirements to adopt a child are not as stringent as most people think, Blanco said.
“There is no minimum income requirement,” she said. “They have to be over 21 and have a bedroom and room for the child. There is no minimum income, but you do have to have sufficient income to support yourself.”
She said that families will need to complete paperwork, attend classes, meet with social workers and get fingerprint clearance. They will also have a home study with a social worker to ensure the home is a safe environment for children. During the home study, extended family members are encouraged to be involved.
“It’s not just the mother and father,” Blanco said. “It can be siblings in the home, extended family members, aunts and uncles, a grandparent…”
She said the center has worked with many different types of families, including single parents, same-sex couples, families who already have birth children, blended families, older and younger couples, and people from all ethnic backgrounds.
Kinship Center focuses on foster adoption, meaning that the families foster the child while they complete the adoption process. Blanco said aside from the cost of fingerprint clearance, there are no other costs to the families. The Kinship Center is licensed in the state of California, so the children available for adoption can come from anywhere in the state.
“We get a lot of phone calls from county agencies from this area (for children) that need homes,” she said.
The agency works with 600 children a month in the tri-county area, and more through their offices in southern California.
Blanco said that some of the children may have experienced neglect or come from a difficult background. Those who have experienced trauma or difficult situation can see a therapist while they are in foster care to help them deal with any needs they might have.
Blanco noted that they have a lot of sibling sets available right now that can range in age.
“A lot (of prospective parents) want smaller babies or toddlers,” Blanco said. “There are a lot of kids within that age range, but they have an older sibling. If they are open to a sibling set, a lot need homes.”
After an adoption is complete, Blanco said social workers continue to be available to work with families.
Kinship supports families after adoption
“I’d like to emphasize that it’s free lifetime support services,” she said. “The adoption may be finalized for a number of years. When the family needs assistance with something, they can come forward to receive support services.”
They offer one-on-one services, a mental health clinic for children, and a support group called Parenting Adopted Children Together.
“It’s a group of Hollister folks who adopted with our agency and helps a lot of families who express concern,” she said. “They have a shared history and shared experiences.”
Teves said she attends the support group and it has been helpful for her as she goes through the adoption process.
“We talk about what works and what doesn’t,” she said. “It is better to talk to families who are in the process to hear what works for them.”
Kinship Center also helps families with newborn adoptions, though there are fees associated with that.
“If they want a newborn adoption, there are fees,” she said. “But I have been told by families that it’s quite minimal.”
She said the main thing prospective parents should consider is the commitment.
“It’s all about timing,” Blanco said. “They should look at their own personal life looking to see if the timing is right. If you have a full work schedule and school schedule, the process may not be for you. But if you have the time, it’s wonderful.”
Teves said that the first adoption and pending adoption has been a positive experience for her.
“Just seeing these kids grow and knowing you made a difference,” she said.
Lee agreed.
“It’s been challenging, but by far the best reward (is seeing Jacob,)” he said. “When you saw Jacob when he was first here, his eyes were the size of saucers and he wouldn’t say anything. He’s a whole different kid.”
The Kinship Center hosts free informational meetings once a month for families interested in learning more about adoption or fostering.
For more information, visit www.kinshipcenter.org or call 1-800-4KINSHIP (1-800-454-6744.)
