Our election results take longer than Florida’s
Front page quote in the Free Lance a week before the
elections:
”
We are looking good,
”
said San Benito County’s head election muckymuck, Joe Paul
Gonzalez.
Our election results take longer than Florida’s
Front page quote in the Free Lance a week before the elections: “We are looking good,” said San Benito County’s head election muckymuck, Joe Paul Gonzalez.
A week after the election and still no final results. Makes one yearn for the so-called less efficient John Hodges days. Hell, on election night not only did John have the results but all the sports scores from around the nation and more importantly how many more hours before the bars closed.
But poor Joe Paul. When things go bad they just keep going bad. Joe was scheduled to hand out some certificates last week with der mayor of Hollister. Joe Paul was a no-show and when it was announced he was sick everyone knowingly nodded and smiled. Was it really the flu or hanging chads? And his chads were hanging. Aye chee waa waa.
If a picture is worth a thousand words then Henry and Charlene Petersens’ picture along with their letter to the editor in the Pinnacle of the Hazel Hawkins Hospital monolith straight out of “2001 A Space Odyssey” overlooking their pool and backyard is worth re-reading George Overall’s classic: “Oh boy is Big Brother watching you.” But I must say I don’t blame Big Brother in this case. Have you ever seen Charlene? She was always the most beautiful girl and woman in Hollister.
Obama, Oshama – who cares? It was Carlette Barker with the world’s most important election win: the Pinnacle’s best bartender as voted by you. The award might not mean much in some towns but Hollister has more bars than Attica. Aye chee waa waa.
The Hollister High Newspaper, The Baler, is laid out better than most newspapers that think front page clutter attracts readers. But it’s the writing that distinguishes a paper and here again in where the Baler staff wins out as they are giving readers what they want and more importantly what students need to know to be informed.
Take a look at the front page story by student Greg Diaz about cameras on campus, yet another Big Brother is watching you under the guise of student safety to continue lulling us into a socialistic state ploy. Remember students, the administration hides behind “it’s for the safety of the students” when they have no answers they blame the color of clothing you wear or the shade of your thoughts. And yes, they would love to put Hollister High students in uniforms to strip you of your individuality. It worked great for Hitler’s Brown Shirt youth movement and Mao’s China is still the uniform plan for uniforms. But remember, “it is for the safety of the students.”
Big money always wins elections. Tell that to Hollister Councilman-elect Victor Victorious Gomez. His opponents, a highly overfinanced deputy sheriff and an architect outspent him easily with campaign chests nearly four times larger than the $4,466 amassed by Victor Victorious. And Victor Victorious beat them both almost two-to-one.
How did Victor Victorious do it? Charm, good looks and a sneaky political ploy: hard, hard work with family and friends who know Hollister needs the city to be run like a business and not welfare for those who sucked dry the city tax teat. I never thought I’d say this but put the bra on and keep it on.
Last week’s Quick Quiz answer was Leo the Lion. The over-80-year-old received a makeover including a new roar for the new James Bond release which opened bigger than any previous Bond. Daniel Craig is the best Bond ever. This week’s Quick Quiz is which Band movie featured the acting talent of America’s biggest sausage king? And I mean breakfast as the other honor in Hollywood went to Milton Berle.
Speaking of chorizo, is the Hollister Drive In Market still featuring the best chorizo in the world? Glad they won best corner store in the Pinnacle best of. Used to go there every day when I was a kid and it was the first job that I ever had. I was 11 and I was hired to put the empty soda pop bottles in the right cases so they would go back to the right distributor. In those days soda pop bottles were made of wood, giving most over-60-year-olds in this country Angelina Jolie lips before there was an Angelina Jolie.
When any pizza man goes to ye old pizza pie in the sky I shed a tear but when my favorite pizza man, Nino Imbronone, the inventor of the best pizza ever made dies, I can only be happy for God. It is good to be God. More next week as I just received the news at my deadline. And wow! At my age I hate the word deadline.
Hollister law enforcement should hang their heads in shame. The county’s most wanted includes Ms. Obdulia Partida. She is wanted for resisting or obstructing a peace officer. She is on the lam. She is all of 5-foot-1 and weighs in at 120 pounds. Hell, I say fire the officer and hire Partida.
