A Hollywood night on the town
This is the most exciting week to be living in Hollywood. Oscar
week! Love walking up to Hollywood Boulevard and watching the
tourists as they make a mad scramble to buy those throw away
cameras. Most are caught by surprise by the preparations that have
to be made before Sunday nights Oscars. The stands being erected, a
bridge across Hollywood Boulevard for interviews and cameras. The
giant Oscars being put in place in front of the Kodak Theatre which
for one day becomes the Academy Award Theatre with signage
covering
”
Kodak
”
. The cars driving up letting off the
”
stars
”
as look-a-likes and not so look-a-likes hit their marks for the
cameras. Nothing is left to chance. On Saturday the florists work
their magic and on Sunday everything looks as though, through
Hollywood magic, it was all placed by special effects.
A Hollywood night on the town
This is the most exciting week to be living in Hollywood. Oscar week! Love walking up to Hollywood Boulevard and watching the tourists as they make a mad scramble to buy those throw away cameras. Most are caught by surprise by the preparations that have to be made before Sunday nights Oscars. The stands being erected, a bridge across Hollywood Boulevard for interviews and cameras. The giant Oscars being put in place in front of the Kodak Theatre which for one day becomes the Academy Award Theatre with signage covering “Kodak”. The cars driving up letting off the “stars” as look-a-likes and not so look-a-likes hit their marks for the cameras. Nothing is left to chance. On Saturday the florists work their magic and on Sunday everything looks as though, through Hollywood magic, it was all placed by special effects.
Inside the Hollywood and Highland complex you can have your photo taken for free holding a real Oscar and view Oscars donated for the occasion. If you peek inside you will see security dogs and teams of security bolting down, unbolting, removing, adding and making themselves a nuisance to the hundreds of businesses in the complex but a good nuisance. Exciting!
The businesses on Hollywood Boulevard are making more money, which is good, because for two days they will be cut off from the real world for the “reel” world. We live just three blocks from all the action and Oscar afternoon we are perched at Sunset and Highland as the hundreds and hundreds of limos filled with stars make their way up the short two blocks to Hollywood Boulevard. But it’s these last two blocks that are the most exciting as every limo is stopped and security dogs and detectors check the undercarriage. While some in the limos are also having their undercarriage checked. Aye chee waa waa, what is Oscar doing there?
Then comes the surprise. Every year that we have attended from our front row seat the “riot” squad has been called out but you don’t see or read about it as Hollywood is trying to put on its best face, plus most of the television cameras and anchors are on Hollywood Boulevard with helicopters overhead. But where we are on Sunset and Highland is where the action is. One year it was city workers striking and knowing they would get publicity by stopping the limos on Oscar night. They find out differently as the “riot” squad is in place breaks them up in small groups, herds them off to alleys, as though they had been practicing it for months. They have.
One year it was a swarm of Christina Zealots protesting Mel Gibson’s “Passion of the Christ” as not passionate enough while some Jewish group were protesting that the film was anti-Semitic. Imagine that. How foolish of those Jews to believe that good old Mel was an anti-Semite. Thank goodness Gibson has never done anything since to give them cause to ever question him again.
Zealots have no sense of humor. I told one Christian that maybe Christ would win an Oscar for “Passion of the Christ.” He looked at me as though I were the one who nailed Christ to the cross and let me know in a very un-Christian way where he was going to shove his sign if I didn’t keep my mouth shut. Actually it was the best sexual offer I had ever gotten on Sunset Boulevard that didn’t require me to lighten my wallet. Praise the Lord!
Come Sunday night I hope there are some surprises. Surprises I’d love to see would be Alan Arkin winning best supporting actor and Martin Scorsese not winning best director and giving it to him when he makes another movie like “Raging Bull” or “Goodfellas.” Hell even Ed Wood, Jr. the worst movie director ever whose film “Plan 9 from Outer Space” is probably the worse movie ever directed could have directed Jack Nicholson, Matt Damon, Martin Sheen, Leonardo DiCaprio and Ferlin Husky.
A nice surprise would be Clint Eastwood rightfully winning for best director again and “Babel” or “Little Miss Sunshine” for best picture. But I am the world’s worst prognosticator. When I saw Nicolas Cage was picked to play “Ghost Rider” a year ago I said he has truly jumped the shark. Cage is one of my favorite actors to watch but makes bigger flops than Ma Kettle taking off her bra. So now he is reduced to playing a 2nd rate comic book character. What? It makes 44 million in the first weekend and is his highest grossing opener ever.
And don’t ever believe any movie quote you see in ads from butt kisser Larry King who just says nice things because he wants certain actors on his show. But I did love Ruthie Stein of the San Francisco Chronicle quote about “Little Miss Sunshine”. If there were Oscars for best movie quotes she would win. “I like to think ‘Little Miss Sunshine’ dropped from celluloid heaven as a sign that, despite continual evidence to the contrary, movie miracles do happen.” Amen.
And finally did Jodie Foster upon winning her Oscar really use it for that later that night? Aye chee waa waa. Batteries not included?
