Recently, President-elect Obama began to select all the people
who will work for him. Turns out that there is a questionnaire for
potential employees to fill out. So I’m answering it. I figure
heck, I’m as qualified as some people who will be applying.
Recently, President-elect Obama began to select all the people who will work for him. Turns out that there is a questionnaire for potential employees to fill out. So I’m answering it. I figure heck, I’m as qualified as some people who will be applying. OK, maybe not. But I’m applying anyway. After all, what do I have to lose? Other than my dignity and self-respect, of course. On the other hand I’m a mom. Let’s be real. Once a parent changes that first diaper on the floor of a dingy fast-food restaurant bathroom, self-respect and dignity are long gone.
Briefly describe the most controversial matters you have been involved in during the course of your career.
Starting when Junior was 18 months old, I was part of a controversial movement called “Getting that Dang Kid Toilet-Trained.” The subject of the toilet training met this with tremendous resistance and I subsequently abandoned the effort. I hasten to add, however, that the project was taken over by another employee of the parental group and was successful. Personally, I think I failed because of the whole “standing up” thing. Total gender bias, if you ask me.
Recently, I have been involved in a campaign called, “I’m not (insert friend’s name here) parent.” This campaign involves lots of yelling, mostly by me, wherein I forbid Junior to do something his friend’s parents allow them to do. Again, this has been met with tremendous resistance however, I have not given up.
Please provide the names, addresses and phone numbers … of individuals with whom you worked as a peer, subordinate and supervisor.
Harry and/or Junior Sontag, our house, Gilroy CA 95020.
Please identify all speeches you have given.
Really? All of them? According to Junior and Harry there are like 982 of them. I can give you a rundown of the recurrent themes: I’m Right, You’re Wrong; It’s the Bank’s Fault, They Gave Me More Checks Than Money; If Your Friends Jumped Off a Bridge, Would You Need to Follow; and Quiet! Mommy Needs to Focus So She Can Win This Flamingo Cookie Jar on eBay.
If you have ever sent an electronic communication … that could be an embarrassment to you …
Hey, I never, ever forward those stupid angel e-mails. Oh, fine. Once I forwarded a funny parenting one. It involved discipline, long car rides and a kid strapped to the hood of the vehicle. I can forward it if you want to see it. It was actually very funny. But other than that, no.
If you ever kept a diary … that could be a source of embarrassment …
Seriously? Dude, I’m a female. It’s a law that we all have diaries before the age of 10. And all of it is embarrassing.
Do you presently have … domestic help?
Give me a break. Have you ever tried to get a 12-year-old to make his bed or put his clothes away? And let’s not even talk about the other employee who lives here. He makes the bed, all right. But please. Is it too much to ask that he put the throw pillows in the correct arrangement? And tell me, why can’t either of them figure out where the hamper is? Sheesh. It’s like living with wild animals sometimes. So, to answer your question, no I don’t have any domestic help. Only domestic hindrances.
So there you have them, the answers to six out of 63 questions on the President-elect’s questionnaire. You know, from the looks of it, I believe Hillary might have some competition for that Secretary of State position. Just not from me, of course.
