To heckle or not to heckle

I want to make one thing clear concerning the whole
”
Frankie Francisco goes Springer on the A’s fans
”
incident: I do not, under any circumstances, condone what
Francisco did Monday night in Oakland.
To heckle or not to heckle

I want to make one thing clear concerning the whole “Frankie Francisco goes Springer on the A’s fans” incident: I do not, under any circumstances, condone what Francisco did Monday night in Oakland.

The Texas Rangers’ middle reliever threw a plastic chair into the stands during a brawl that occurred between the Texas bullpen and the heckling A’s fans right behind them.

I don’t need to give you a shout-by-shout account – if you have a television, you’ve probably seen it at least 324 times by now. The chair hit a woman and broke her nose.

It was an idiotic decision by Francisco, and he should be suspended for the rest of the year. Period.

Let’s not completely ignore the sleaze oozing out of the other side of this story, though – the slick lawyer, the soon-to-be-millionaire “victims,” the look-the-other-way organization.

Let’s begin with this Craig Buenos fellow. You might remember him as the guy who used to taunt your 6-year-old son at soccer games.

The primary heckler in this fiasco, Buenos ducked just in time for his wife, Jennifer, to get hit in the face. It’s a touching story, really.

The guy said he purchased season tickets right behind the bullpen area for the sole purpose of making life miserable for opposing relievers. At a Wednesday press conference promptly called by his new lawyer, Buenos said taunting athletes “is an American tradition.”

Geez, here I was thinking it was just an Oakland tradition.

Look, there’s no reason players shouldn’t be able to take most of the jeers they are handed down by rowdy fans. I’ll concede that.

I’m just trying to figure out when it became OK to cross every line and use every nasty word to badger players who dare go against your beloved team.

Now I know Buenos and the Athletics are trying to claim this particular heckling included no cursing or personal taunts. And if you believe that, I’ve got some nice, scenic property in Oakland I’d like to sell you.

But come on, isn’t it a little hard to believe the Texas bullpen would just erupt at the sound of “hey bums, you’re terrible”?

Texas manager Buck Showalter said the taunting “was a real break from the normal trash you hear from fans” and requested additional security for the area during the game. The request, of course, was ignored.

The fact is, fans everywhere are getting nastier. And security – you know, the old woman with the usher’s jacket and friendly smile – continues to turn its head.

You parents who take your kids to sporting events have to know what I’m talking about.

With ticket prices soaring, many of today’s fans feel the price of admission gives them the right to do absolutely whatever they want once they enter a ballpark.

In the last two years, both an umpire and a first-base coach have been attacked by fans coming out of the stands at White Sox games. At Wrigley Field in 2000, a man started a player-fan brawl when he struck the head and stole the hat of a Dodgers’ player sitting in the bullpen.

Last season in Oakland, Carl Everett of the Rangers was hit in the back of the head by a cell phone that came flying down from the upper deck.

Then just last week, after a couple of calls didn’t go their way, A’s fans reigned all kinds of objects down on Boston leftfielder Manny Ramirez.

But hey, don’t bring up these despicable incidents to J. Gary Gwilliam, the Bay Area personal-injury lawyer who was none too happy to drool his way to the Buenos’ doorstep.

“Fans are fans,” Gwilliam said, “and they have a right to have some fun and do some badgering if they want.”

And the players?

“When they get those huge salaries,” Gwilliam added, “they should learn to take it.”

Yes, the multi-millionaire best known for garnering the largest hand-injury verdict in American history – I kid you not – now wants Francisco to pay … and preferably with cash.

So the 25-year-old not only faces a probable charge of felony aggravated battery and a possible deportation to his native Dominican Republic, but likely a multi-million dollar civil lawsuit, as well.

And the Texas organization, who clearly plotted the demise of Mrs. Buenos’s nose, won’t escape the wrath of J. Gary, either.

In fact, Gwilliam had the nerve to compare the incident in Oakland to the Abu Ghraib prison scandal in Iraq, suggesting the melee wouldn’t have happened if the Rangers had better leadership from the top.

If that outlandish comment makes you feel a little sick to your stomach, you’re not alone. And there is a way you can act on that anger.

Go over to the fancy law offices of Gwilliam and heckle him at his place of work. As long as security lets you, stand right by his desk and continue that American tradition of complaining about the law business.

Have some fun. Do a little badgering if you want.

And if Gwilliam gets angry and reaches for his chair, just remind him that he makes a huge salary.

And that he should learn to take it.