I have some good news for some of you parents out there: you
don’t need to shell out big bucks on toys for your toddlers this
Christmas. If your kids are a little older like mine are, then
… well, you’re doomed. But for the parents of toddlers, boy, you
have it made.
I have some good news for some of you parents out there: you don’t need to shell out big bucks on toys for your toddlers this Christmas. If your kids are a little older like mine are, then … well, you’re doomed. But for the parents of toddlers, boy, you have it made.
Oh sure, there are a lot of great toys out there, ones that are educational and encourage imaginative role playing and all that. There are toys that your kids will beg and plead for, toys that you will do almost anything to find. But the truth of the matter is, you don’t have to bother. I mean, come January, the Magical Fairytale Princess Doll, the very same one your daughter lobbied for since early October, will be casually discarded for the yellow plastic citrus juicer from underneath the kitchen sink.
Now some of you out there are probably thinking that I’m exaggerating a teeny bit, but that’s only because you don’t have kids. Besides, it’s not just me. Just ask my friend Linda, whose daughter played in her Deluxe Stand Alone Kitchen Play Set exactly two hours before transferring all of the mini pink appliances and rubber food back into the box it came in.
So this year, just to save parents a bit of time and lots of money and grief, here’s a list of things that the under three crowd will never get tired of playing with:
1. A feather duster
2. Your purple satin pumps from the 80’s
3. Cardboard paper towel tube
4. Vacuum cleaner attachments
5. The plunger
6. Any kind of tape
7. Meat pounder
8. A pair of wooden spoons
9. A couple of rubber bands and an empty Kleenex box
10. Your stainless steel penguin cocktail shaker
11. The toilet brush (a new one, of course)
12. The family toothbrush collection
13. The garden hose
14. The laundry basket
15. Two kitchen chairs and a blanket
And finally, always a big crowd pleaser:
16. Salad tongs
Now, of course the major problem is that most kids will never admit this is what they really want. If you ask them, they’ll say something like, “The Barbie Sunshine Grocery Shopping Cart.” And that may even be true. But don’t let this fool you. We parents know they’d be just as happy with a pair of oven mitts.
Oh, sure, it sounds crazy. But each year I can’t help thinking that the big toy companies are overlooking a huge niche. I mean, if you ask me, they could make millions by forgetting about all of the hype and flashy packaging and just sell the lids to Tupperware containers in a paper bag.
But will they ever ask me? Fat chance. Although, suspiciously enough, a few years ago, in the toy section of the local discount store I saw a stray salt shaker and a Lazy Susan wedged on a shelf between the stuffed bears. Coincidence? I thought not.
So I did what any savvy Christmas-shopping parent would do: I tossed them in my cart along with the Hot Wheels sets and Nintendo games.
Trust me, they were a huge hit.
Debbie Farmer is a humorist and a mother holding down the fort in California, and the author of Don’t Put Lipstick on the Cat. You can reach her at [email protected].
