Adam Breen searches for the perfect name for his column
In the decade or so that I have written my column in local
newspapers, it has never had a name or title, other than
”
Adam Breen.
”
It’s been a while and I can’t quite recall how I came up with
that one, but it has served its purpose.
Adam Breen searches for the perfect name for his column
In the decade or so that I have written my column in local newspapers, it has never had a name or title, other than “Adam Breen.”
It’s been a while and I can’t quite recall how I came up with that one, but it has served its purpose.
Now that my weekly 600-word rant has moved to the pages of The Pinnacle, this paper’s convention says that it has to have a name.
You may have noticed by now that there is no such name attached to this week’s story, as I didn’t want to rush into anything with which I wouldn’t be happy. You don’t just walk into a tattoo shop and throw a dart at the wall and say “Gimme that one,” unless, of course, you’re drunk.
Since I am not under the influence of anything other than the spirit of the season, I want to make a decision on a name for this space with a clear head.
Mark Paxton, The Pinnacle’s publisher, last week suggested “Breen Road,” complete with a picture of the street located just east of San Juan Bautista on Hwy. 156. It was a clever idea, and still may work, though I’m not sure I want my column named after a dead-end street.
He also suggested “The World’s Oldest Baler,” as I graduated from San Benito High School and now I am a teacher there. The thing is, except to my students, I’m not really that old. I’m not even 40 yet. There are plenty more Balers who are older than me.
My mom suggested “Adam’s Rib,” which is clever, but may be more suited to a column about barbecuing. She also threw out “Adam’s World,” which reminds me too much of “Wayne’s World.” Party time, excellent.
Another idea I had was “Breen There, Done That.” I don’t know what “that” is and I probably haven’t done enough of “that” to wear that one with pride.
Paxton also suggested that I could utilize my ties to the Donner Party in the naming of my column, since members of the Breen family were part of that historically ill-timed jaunt across the Sierra (didn’t they watch the Weather Channel back then?) and later settled in San Juan Bautista.
It’s hard to come up with a concise, appropriate column title based on a perilous winter journey in which my relatives allegedly resorted to cannibalism to survive.
I guess I could go with, “Thanks, Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Grandpa Patrick” as an homage to the wherewithal displayed by my forefathers. It’s just a bit too long, though.
“Adam’s Morsels” could work, though it might be a bit too gory.
This assignment is tough. That’s why I’m turning to those readers who have stuck with me through this and other columns. What the heck should I name my column? E-mail your suggestions to me at ab****@pi**********.com or drop me a note by mail or in person at The Pinnacle office, 350 Sixth St. in Hollister.
I could follow the lead of the Illinois governor who was alleged to have offered to “sell” the Senate seat vacated by Barack Obama. Renting out the name of my column is likely unethical, so I don’t think you’ll be reading my words under the header “Hollister Disposal.” I’m still checking the employee manual on the legalities of selling the naming rights to my column.
I look forward to your suggestions and next week I will mention any ideas that are sent my way. If I select one of your ideas, you will win a prize package including a free subscription to The Pinnacle (what do you mean it’s already free?) and mention in the newly-named column.
