My parents are a couple of amazing people. Separately, they’re pretty darn awesome; but mix them together and they become a perfectly balanced concoction of strength, compassion and faith – with a dash of insanity. Somehow they just work.
They work so well that Saturday they’ll celebrate their 45th wedding anniversary.
What a 45-year ride it’s been, celebrating life with laughter, sarcasm and two kids who – I like to think – turned out OK. Together they’ve faced (and fought) cancer, job layoffs, the loss of their parents, multiple long-distance moves and the devastating death of their grandson.
And it’s together they’ve stared all of it right in the eye and come out on the other side, still holding hands.
Don’t ask me what their secret is because I’m really not sure. And if you ask them how they’ve made it this far, you’re likely to get a couple of different – and joking – answers. Mom might say something along the lines of, “Because he’s not retired yet and he’s out of the house and my hair five days a week.” But Dad would likely say something more in tune with, “Because she’s the only one who’ll put up with my shenanigans.”
Perhaps there’s a bit of truth in the sarcasm (because Dad really is full of shenanigans), but I like to think they truly are soulmates – and I think they’d agree.
They were practically neighbors, growing up in the once-tiny farm town of Los Banos. Although Dad was five years ahead, they were both Tigers, attending Los Banos High School and shared some mutual acquaintances. However, they didn’t meet until Dad returned from Vietnam and saw Mom working at a hamburger joint in town, where she says he stuck his head through the order window every day until she finally grew tired of his stalking and agreed to go out with him. Mom even tried to pawn off his affections on one of her sisters – to no avail.
Dad’s story plays out a bit differently, of course. He pursued her every day, and says he eventually wooed her with his cool, green 1968 Camaro and his Army uniform, and took her for a highly romantic first date to Merced to look for a new part for his car (and a movie afterward).
Whatever the case, it’s worked and all I’m absolutely certain of is that 45 years later they’re more in love with each other than ever (well … most of the time). Growing up, I can’t remember a harsh word ever being said between the two of them in front of me and my brother. Their relationship was – and continues to be – about patience, compromise and lots of laughter. When anger arises, it’s tamped down with honest conversation. When tears flow, they’re often gently wiped away by the hand of the other.
It’s not a perfect love story, by any means. But ever since they got hitched at a chapel in Reno in 1969, it’s been the perfect love story for them.
And many people have wonderful stories about how they met their significant other, why the relationship works and how they’ve triumphed – together – over heartbreak or adversity.
I’ve shared some details about my parents – not only to honor their 45th anniversary – but because I’d like you to submit stories for an upcoming Valentine’s Day edition of the Lifestyles section. Do you and yours have a “love at first sight” story? Perhaps yours is a story of love brought together by Internet dating or that of high school sweethearts separated through the years and eventually reunited.
Share and commemorate your love by emailing a short story (400 words maximum) and a “couple” photo to me at [email protected]. Deadline for submissions is Jan. 31 and selected stories will publish in the Lifestyles section Feb. 7.
Whether five years or 45, every real love story deserves a little recognition – and a whole lot of celebration.
