Tips for teenagers to drive mom and dad mad
Sometimes, you just have to hand it to teenagers
– how, in a few short years, they manage to go from sweet,
adorable, compliant children to, well, whatever it is they are. And
how in that short space of time they figure out how to drive us
crazy, and then make us just a little bit crazier.
Tips for teenagers to drive mom and dad mad
Sometimes, you just have to hand it to teenagers – how, in a few short years, they manage to go from sweet, adorable, compliant children to, well, whatever it is they are. And how in that short space of time they figure out how to drive us crazy, and then make us just a little bit crazier.
Have you ever wondered how they do it? Well, I’ll tell you how. I have analyzed their behavior thoroughly and I have come up with a few easy tips on how to be a teenager. (Hint: You may not want to show this column to your pre-adolescent kids just yet. Enjoy the good times while they last).
Without further ado, here’s how teenagers do it.
Tip No. 1: Never talk to your parents – ever. Unless you need money or a ride somewhere. If they ask you a direct question, grunt. If they attempt to have a conversation with you, pull out your cell and text your friends, letting them know what a drag your family is.
Every once in a while, you can allow yourself to reply to a question with a complete sentence. Your parents will be stunned into silence for at least two minutes.
Tip No. 2: If your parents ask you to do something, like take out the trash, ignore them. Wait until they ask at least four times. Chances are they’ll give up and do it themselves.
If they ask you to do anything complicated, like wash clothes, claim to not know how to do it. After they show you how, forget what they’ve shown you.
Tip No. 3: Never give your parents any information about school – what your grades are, what activities you’re doing, the fact that their algebra teacher would like to talk to you ASAP.
The only thing you’re allowed to say is, “Uh, Mom? There’s a club fundraiser tomorrow – can you bake three dozen cupcakes and buy a 12-pack of soda that I can take to school in the morning?” And make sure you do this at 10 p.m. the night before.
Tip No. 4: Pretend to go to bed at a decent hour on a school night. Then get up after your parents go to bed and play video games until 4 a.m. Or if you’d rather, text your friends and see if you can get them to stay up, too.
Tip No. 5: When getting ready for school in the morning, wear something ripped or inappropriate. This will ensure that you’ll get to school late, since Mom or Dad will make you change before you go. If you play it right, you might even miss first period.
Tip No. 6: Whatever is for dinner, even if you like it, claim not to. Make sure you say loudly, “Oh my God! Are we having this AGAIN?”
Tip No. 7: Lose things. Frequently. The more expensive, the better.
Tip No. 8: Come home from school. Turn on the TV and turn up the volume until the paint starts flaking off the walls. Watch for one minute. Then walk away without turning it off or down.
Tip No. 9: See how many dirty dishes and cups you can stash under your bed.
Tip No. 10: Just to keep your parents on their toes, occasionally be nice to them. Pick up your room, speak when spoken to, agree to a haircut, share a funny story from school. But only do it every once in a while. Then go back to the way you were before.
Now that’ll really drive them nuts.
