The Big Guy’s feeling grumpy
As an avowed atheist I talk to God a lot and wow is he grumpy. I
asked God why in hell he ever invented cell phones and he used that
old excuse of his to test the goodness of man. I’d say that man
failed.
The Big Guy’s feeling grumpy
As an avowed atheist I talk to God a lot and wow is he grumpy. I asked God why in hell he ever invented cell phones and he used that old excuse of his to test the goodness of man. I’d say that man failed.
Now everyone thinks their business and personal conversations are to be shared with everyone. The movies, restaurants, shopping, sports venues, parks, toilets and the most annoying for me, when I’m in church. I asked God what the answer to the problem was. He said he had none. See why I’m an atheist. I’m not answering his phone calls any more.
Next week my most fond memories of Merv Griffin. His was the first live show I ever attended in Hollywood and I have never met a more genial, witty man in my entire life. I was fortunate to hear him speak three times after that, most recently two years ago at Vanna White’s Walk of Fame ceremony. His speech was absolutely classic tongue in cheek and I think it went way over poor Vanna’s head. Surprised? Aye chee waa waa!
China can’t hit us with one of their missiles because they are made in China. But that doesn’t seem to stop China from trying to kill us. The White House sends them stern warnings about their deadly warheads but at the same time loves to buy their cheap imports. Imports that are killing us softly with their love. From China with love. Toothpaste contaminated with anti-freeze, puffer fish which carry a deadly toxin, cough syrup laced with ingredients blamed for at least hundreds of deaths, snack food seasoning contaminated with salmonella, pet food that I wouldn’t serve to a dog, over 1 million toys containing lead and 1.5 million Thomas and Friends wooden railway toys with lead that can be toxic if ingested by children.
But not to worry: when you drive to “Lead Are Us” to buy these made in China products to save money you can be riding on their made in China tires of which 450,000 were recalled after losing their tread on the highway. Don’t tread on us … unless of course we can buy it cheaper than made in America. Another big drawback is that after you buy products from China, an hour later you want to buy more. Aye chee waa waa!
Congratulations to Melissa Flores and Dennis Taylor for their first place win for a seven-part series they wrote in The Pinnacle. Loved their pictures alongside the award-winning plaque from the California Newspaper Publishers Association. Dennis and I went to different high schools together and I think he must have submitted his high school senior photo to accompany the story of his recent win. Dennis is still the menace.
Why I love Harry Potter fans as they are so gentle, kind and sensitive. Great example in a recent Fifty Cent Lance feature asking “How do you think the seventh Harry Potter book will end?” Tammy Bowman, pictured with the sweetest smile ever recorded, said that she hopes Harry kills Lord Voldemort. Candy Sockol, looking angelic as she holds a toddler in her loving arms, hopes that Snape gets his. Zach Piccoli smiled for the camera while answering, “I’d be more happy if Harry dies. It would be a nice twist.” And whenever I question the content of the Harry Potter series to parents they always reply that they are just happy that their kids are reading. “Mein Kampf” with illustrations, okay? You ‘vil repeat aye chee waa waa with a Wagnerian accent.
One of the truly great newspaper editors of my era once wrote of me and I paraphrase, I think Bob Valenzuela still really believes that elected officials should be honest. I still do. So I still shed tears when good people like those in Tres Pinos who think they are in the great majority thus can stop the “Bates Motel” effect from a hotel being proposed for their back yard. Like they think we live in a democracy.
I was 16 years old putting up signs for a politician when I learned a valuable lesson. Greedy developers could not care less if 83 percent of the Tres Pinos residents are against the development. A developer friend of the family told me in 1956 about another unpopular project, “Bobby, we don’t care if 100 percent of the voters are against it. All we have to do is buy three votes – three members on the Board of Supervisors.” Tres votas y adios Tres Pinos as we know and love it. But remember, it will give jobs to minorities. “Hey Pedro! Would you get a mop and a bucket? Mr. Got Rocks just threw up in the bar.”
Still laughing at Dan Fitch and his article in last week’s Pinnacle about the demise of the over-the-top Weekly World News which quite frankly had about as much truth in it as the Lost Angeles Times. My favorite headline was “Adolph Hitler is back and this time it’s no more Mr. Nice Guy.” And I believe they were the ones carrying the front page picture proving that sailors on the Titanic were gay. The photo had a Titanic lifeboat with two skeletons positioned with bones, well, let’s just say, a la Rock Hudson and Liberace reunion.
Love how proud Pinnacle columnist Wendy Sans is that her fellow Little League parents aren’t the stereotypical win at any cost parents we read about or witness at games. I remember the most fun I had playing sports was when before dinner time the neighborhood kids would meet at an empty lot and set up rocks for bases and play ball just for the fun of it. I was lucky as I was always picked first.
They needed a backstop.
