Cheap beer and fast women in Hollister
Leave it to Hollister’s Louie Sumaya to put a smile on my face.
Louie walks into a joint in Hollister and has a beer. He puts it on
his credit card, $10. That’s $3 for the beer and $7 service
charge.
Cheap beer and fast women in Hollister
Leave it to Hollister’s Louie Sumaya to put a smile on my face. Louie walks into a joint in Hollister and has a beer. He puts it on his credit card, $10. That’s $3 for the beer and $7 service charge. Here in Hollywood we’re much more sophisticated and wouldn’t put up with that. A beer is $7 and we tip $3. It makes a difference when you have big city smarts.
I didn’t realize “The Music Man” was about Hollister until last night when I paid close attention to the lyrics. Follow the bouncing ball and sing along with me to the tune of “You Got Trouble My Friend” from “The Music Man.”
Hollister has trouble my friends, trouble with a capital T and that stands for Measure T.
Measure T stands for more taxes my friends, not some little old tax, but big, big taxes, oh I should say.
You’re already paying the highest prices in history for gas and food. And that’s not good. Noooo that’s not good.
Well I’m gonna tell you what you gotta do, well I should say.
You gotta beat T with a capital N and that N stands for no, why I should say, that N stands for no.
Yes my friends an N for no and you can make Measure T go away with a simple nay. Yes my friends, a simple N for no and T for tax will go away. Oh I should say.
Stop the singing! And something I never say, stop the bouncing balls! Measure T does not guarantee more firemen or police. All it says is trust the Hollister City Council. Again!
I wondered what happened to Wanker Wang, our beloved Hollywood porn movie director. Then I read he was found dead in a Morgan Hill motel. But then, who isn’t? Aye chee waa waa.
They should change the name of Morgan Hill to Boot Hill. Speaking of name change, I have to blame Mr. and Mrs. Wang for their son becoming a sleaze ball porn director. I can’t believe a parent naming their son Wanker. With a name like Wanker, what else could he be but a porn director or a congressman? Aye chee waa waa.
Chuck Berry just turned 81. I remember seeing Berry in 1957 in Watsonville. He was not yet popular with white audiences and he arrived by himself with no band. Just Berry and his guitar and a very small amplifier. But unlike the concerts of today with their jillion-watt speakers and light show that would make Al Gore turn over in his grave, all Berry needed was raw talent. What? Al Gore is not dead? How can you tell? Chuck sang all the songs that would later make him famous but with different and more racy lyrics. Chuck Berry is rock ‘n’ roll and even the Beatles couldn’t kill real rock ‘n’ roll.
Leave it to the Hollister Fifty Cent Lance’s crack investigative reporters to unearth this headline “Report Shows Minimum Wage Not Enough to Get By.” No wonder people line up to buy Hollister’s almost-daily.
You would think an entire Girl Scout Troop from Hawaii wearing bikinis had moved to San Juan Bautista the way the young men in Troop 428 are strutting their stuff. The other reason is that they now have lots of pull with the brass. Bob Mazzuca, who was raised in my birthplace of San Juan Bautista, was just appointed the United States’ chief scout executive. Bob recently attended a fund-raiser at Ridgemark and everyone agreed he is still that great kid from San Juan Bautista.
Bob is truly a nice guy, but aside from that we have a lot in common. When Bob was growing up in San Juan Bautista he became an Eagle Scout.
I hate to one-up him but in 1955 when I was a Boy Scout with Troop 55 in Hollister I became the Boy Scouts of America’s first and only in the history of the Scouts to attain the rank of Chicken Scout.
Last week on Hillary Clinton’s birthday she got a million and a half dollars. On my last birthday I got a pair of socks and a can of spray deodorant. Aye chee waa waa. Can’t wait for Christmas.
So the student population at Hollister High is nearly 3,000. I checked my yearbook Class of 1958 and our graduating class totaled 103. And that included counting two for all the girls who were pregnant.
