The death of a once-great sport
Did any of you happen to catch the World Boxing Association
heavyweight title fight last Saturday night between this 7-foot,
325 pound Russian freak named Nikolai Valuev and the American
challenger Monte Barrett?
If not, you didn’t miss much
– boxing that is. But you did miss a contest that would be the
envy of World Wrestling Entertainment mogul Vince McMahon.
The death of a once-great sport
Did any of you happen to catch the World Boxing Association heavyweight title fight last Saturday night between this 7-foot, 325 pound Russian freak named Nikolai Valuev and the American challenger Monte Barrett?
If not, you didn’t miss much – boxing that is. But you did miss a contest that would be the envy of World Wrestling Entertainment mogul Vince McMahon.
What a freak show! Here is a guy who looked more like a cross between the missing link and Andre the Giant, who had more hair on his back than George “The Animal” Steele, defending a title that guys like Rocky Marciano, Muhammad Ali and Joe Louis once sought.
Here he is with a 45-0 record – 33 via knockout – fighting against a guy who was 6-foot-3 and 220 pounds. That’s the same size as Ali and half Valuev’s size.
Barrett, who actually appeared to have better technical boxing skills, had to almost jump off the floor like he was going for an NBA dunk to land a head shot. And that’s what made it all such a joke. No matter how many head shots Barrett landed, they were all meaningless to this giant of a man that had a front brow area big enough to put a satellite dish on.
With the TKO in round 11 (a miracle it even lasted that long, but proof that Barrett was actually a better fighter) the “Russian Giant” moved closer to The Brockton Blockbuster’s historic record of 49-0, 43 by knockout.
And there’s no doubt he will shatter the record, even though Marciano and anyone else who ever held the once most-prestigious title belt on the planet is probably five times the boxer.
It doesn’t matter how good Valuev’s skills are. It doesn’t matter how often he gets hit. He’s just too big to be affected by any of the blows that his challengers land – regardless of where they land.
A shot to his temple on this bear of a man probably feels like he was hit by paper airplane. The best upper cut of the night barely moved his head back.
Eventually, it’s the same story. The tide turns for the same reasons that even a blind squirrel is going to find an acorn.
Valuev isn’t a great boxer but at some point the guy is going to land a blow with his mammoth fists, which probably weigh as much as a Sears Diehard battery. And, boom, the fight is over.
And if that doesn’t happen right away the opponent, who continually lands meaningless blows, whether they are right on the mark or not, tires and runs out of gas.
Picture yourself trying to push a ’65 Cadillac Coupe De Ville out of a snowed-in driveway in Lake Tahoe and you’ll start to get the picture. No matter how much you push the car, it isn’t going to budge much without someone helping you out.
And that’s what happens in all of Valuev’s fights. He’s so big that no matter how often he gets hit, nothing happens.
Sadly, that is what boxing, at least the heavyweight division, has come to. It almost feels like wrestling must have felt right about the same time they pulled the plug on holding legitimate matches and decided to entertain people with every buffed out, 6-foot-plus Tom, Dick and Harry, who didn’t mind eating turnbuckles, yelling loud to fire up the crowd or dressing up like he was going trick-or-treating on any given night in the name of sports entertainment.
And now this is what Don King, boxing’s version of the WWE’s or WWF’s old school managers like classy Freddie Blassie and Lou Albano, is pumping into our living rooms on Saturday nights.
It’s really sad because boxing’s most coveted records are going to be shattered by a guy who should be working for Ringling Brothers instead.
And if you don’t agree with this, at least agree that the heavyweight division should have a height and weight cap so this mockery of a great sport doesn’t continue.
