Like the story of George Washington and the cherry tree, I cannot tell a lie when I go to the dentist. I’d like to, believe me, because that would help me avoid the inevitable “tsk, tsk” or disapproving head shake from the hygienist.
I have to see her two times a year and each time I know she’s going to ask me if I’ve been flossing regularly.
During my visit this week, she asked me when I had last flossed.
“Yesterday,” I said proudly. (“Boom! Surprised you, didn’t I?” I thought to myself.)
I had spoken the truth, but it didn’t tell the whole story.
I had done the pre-dental visit self-cleaning that a lot of us do: We feel that if we do some extra flossing and brushing a day before or the day of our visit, we can fool the dentist into believing that we have taken care of our teeth that way every day like they want us to.
If we just leave the electronic toothbrush on a little longer, we believe we can make them believe that our good intentions from the last visit were followed up on. If we floss that morning and use some fluoride rinse and maybe chew some sugarless gum before we sit in the dentist’s chair, they’ll never suspect a thing.
If only it were that easy.
Hygienists have special deductive powers that allow them to see the truth even when we don’t speak it. So there is no point in deception.
“I know I should floss more, but it hasn’t been part of my routine,” I admitted while lying back in the chair under the harsh glare of the dentist’s light. I felt like I was on a therapist’s couch. I had to come clean.
She seemed to appreciate my candor, and even told me that most people try to lie because they feel guilty about not doing what they should have been doing.
Feeling good about my honest self, I threw in that I do brush several times a day and I hadn’t been experiencing any tooth pain since my last visit.
I was seeking approval and hoping for a good report.
The exam was relatively pain-free, which was a good sign, and I got a fairly positive report from the hygienist, who genuinely seemed to have my best interest at heart.
She asked me if I grind my teeth at night and I said that I didn’t know, since I’m usually asleep during that time. I know that I grind my teeth before walking into the examination room as I know I’ll be quizzed about flossing.
The dentist himself was out sick during this week’s visit, so I got to avoid telling the truth about my lack of flossing to another person. By the end of the visit, my teeth and my conscience were clean.
As the hygienist handed me the dentist office goodie bag – floss, a toothbrush, some toothpaste – I felt a sense of relief as I didn’t have to worry about any serious dental work in my future.
This time, I told myself as I got into my car, I will make flossing a regular part of my routine. That way, next time I’m in the dentist’s chair, I can honestly say that I followed directions and truly deserved the goodie bag that they give me as I’m leaving.
Adam Breen teaches newspaper and yearbook classes at San Benito High School and is a reporter for The Pinnacle. He is former editor of the Free Lance. Email him at
ab****@pi**********.com
and follow him on Twitter @AdamPBreen.
