Singles’ dinner club celebrates one-year anniversary with a
barbecue
On a recent Saturday night, Sandi Gowers and four friends shared
a meal together. The fixings included a roasted red potato salad,
tri-tip, Santa Maria-style ribs, grilled zucchini, shrimp and
cocktail sauce, a green salad and a dessert. It was not a dinner
among old friends, though the laughter and camaraderie might make
one think otherwise.
Singles’ dinner club celebrates one-year anniversary with a barbecue
On a recent Saturday night, Sandi Gowers and four friends shared a meal together. The fixings included a roasted red potato salad, tri-tip, Santa Maria-style ribs, grilled zucchini, shrimp and cocktail sauce, a green salad and a dessert. It was not a dinner among old friends, though the laughter and camaraderie might make one think otherwise.
Most of the women present at the dinner have known each other for less than a year, and they all met at a monthly dinner club started by Gowers and friend Michele Ferguson.
When Gowers and Ferguson made plans for their first cooking club meeting on Aug. 2 last year, they weren’t sure what to expect. Both single, Gowers, a widower for four years, and Ferguson, a divorcee, they wanted a way to meet other singles for some social time.
“Basically, we were just looking to meet people who lived in our area,” Gowers said.
Gowers moved to San Benito in 1996, but commuted to San Jose for work.
“We lived in a quiet, rural area so there were only four houses in our little cul-de-sac,” Gowers said. “All of our social lives, including vacations, were built around [my husband’s] business associates and clients, and when he died, that stopped. I didn’t know how to make friends.”
A year ago, Gowers and Ferguson decided to take a chance with their cooking club.
Six people showed up for the first meeting.
Gowers said she wasn’t concerned about inviting strangers into her home.
“I didn’t really think about that because Michele and I were sort of doing it together,” she said.
Karen Rogers was one of the visitors that first night, and has been a regular attendee since. She read about the club in the paper and held onto the article.
“A friend saw the same article and then another friend,” Rogers said. “My expectation was just to meet some new people.”
She said she thought it was hard to meet new people in such a close-knit community where many people grew up together.
“It really is intimidating,” she said. “You end up left out.”
She and her friends were a little cautious about that first night, however.
“We came as a group of three and we did not know what to expect,” Rogers said. “We said if it was not very good, we would have a code and get a call and say we had to leave because we had an emergency at home.”
The women never made the call, and after the meal and few glasses of wine, they confessed their plan.
Since that first night, the group has waxed and waned with highs of 15 guests some months down to five guests other times. They average about eight diners. Ferguson herself has had to miss some recent meetings due to a new job.
The core concept for their group has remained the same – a low-key atmosphere for singles to make new friends – but some of their ideas have changed such as the idea to cook all the dishes at a host house.
“We thought originally that we could do that, but the logistics of that were tough,” Gowers said. “We rethought that whole thing. If you put more than two people in a kitchen, that’s already too many.”
They settled on having the host of each themed dinner provide an entree, and having other members bring appetizers, side dishes and desserts, potluck-style. Some of the monthly themes have included Thai food, Mexican food, a ’50s dinner and a Thanksgiving dinner in November.
Rosemary Bridwell offered to host the November meal after attending her first dinner in October. She tackled the turkey while others brought the Thanksgiving fixings.
“I met a friend who joined and told me about it,” Bridwell said. “I liked all the girls. It ended up I knew one of them through her ex-husband.”
Bridwell not only made some new friends, but on the night she hosted a single man showed up for the first time. She said he had been holding on to the article for a while before he got up the nerve to come because “he was scared.”
“I made a personal connection,” she said, of the man she has been dating since November.
Christine Peterson was also hesitant about going to the club the first time.
“I have never joined anything or responded to an ad,” she said. “My daughter encouraged me to come the first day. I’ve made some good friends.”
Peterson, who is a widow, said she hadn’t been out or dating for a long time.
“I didn’t feel intimidated,” she said. “We had a big dinner…it’s just the fellowship.”
Trish Paetz was the newest member to join who came to the anniversary dinner Aug. 15. She read the original article, and after some prodding from Bridwell, she decided to come to the first dinner a few months ago.
“I wasn’t sure how big a group it would be and that night had a lot,” she said. “It was better than I expected. I came away thinking it was a really nice group of people to share dinner with.”
The group meets the third Saturday of every month, and they switch off hosting duties, and sometimes opt for dinner out at a restaurant. For more information on the group or to find out the location of the Sept. 19 dinner, e-mail Sandi Gowers at
sg*****@sb*******.net
.
