The baby talk must stop
Recently I stopped at a friend’s office from where we were to go
to lunch. He was on the telephone and waved me to sit down.
”
Okay,
”
he said in winding it up,
”
Tell Helen she’s still my sweetums and give her a big smooch for
me. Bye-bye.
”
The baby talk must stop
Recently I stopped at a friend’s office from where we were to go to lunch. He was on the telephone and waved me to sit down. “Okay,” he said in winding it up, “Tell Helen she’s still my sweetums and give her a big smooch for me. Bye-bye.”
Another friend joined us at the restaurant. When the waitress came to take our order, he asked, “What kind of veggies do you have today?” She named the vegetables available and he shook his head at the last one ” No cauliflower for me; it makes my tummy rumble.”
Later that week at another restaurant I was eating dinner when a couple in their mid-20s entered and greeted the waitress, whom they apparently knew well. She started listing the entrees when the woman said, “That all sounds good but we’ve got our mouths set for pas-ghetti.” The waitress laughed and said, “Pas-ghetti it is. Plain tomato sauce or garlic?”
The man made a mock scowl. “Garlic burn baby’s mouth” and the three laughed together.
Those conversations stayed with me: Sweetums? Smooch? Bye-bye? Veggies? Tummy? Pas-ghetti? Garlic burn baby’s mouth? Almost every American child learning to talk indicates spaghetti by saying “pas-ghetti” but eventually masters the word.
It is becoming ever more common in modern America for adults to express themselves in baby talk. Why do men and women feel the need to make their conversations cute?
One can excuse new parents because their whole life is centered around the toothless, dribbling star of the household. But for others, is it striving for the innocent happiness of childhood while the world becomes more dangerous by the day? Madison Avenue and the media are major contributors to the cute-ing of America. Many magazine advertisements use such phrases as “‘specially for you,” with the first letter of “especially” purposely dropped to cater to what the ad writer perceives as the reader’s taste. Perhaps “‘Fess up, now; does your usual perfume let you down sometimes?” appeals to someone but seems to be aimed at a much younger female than those who regularly buy perfume. “‘Fess” for “confess” is usually dropped by the fourth grade
Sportscasters often delve into nursery usage. During the Super Bowl game, one described a lineman’s premature rush forward as a “no-no.” Another said of a halfback’s sacking, “Wow! That’s an ouchie!”
Baby talk has become endemic in what used to be the most private part of everyday life. Rather than saying, “Excuse me” or even, “I’m going to the men’s room,” the accepted parlance seems to have become, “I’m going to the little boys’ room” (or “the little girls’ room”) or even “I have to go potty.” A few older women archly describe their particular need: “I got to tinkle.”
It is hard to tell where it will end and to what further depths it will sink before someone with authority throws up his hands and proclaims, “Stop it – or I’ll tell my mommy!”
Bye-bye.
