When do kids get too old for holiday gifts?
Our Easter Sunday was a quiet one, since we had decided to have
a family get-together the day before, and so Easter itself was a
day of quiet contemplation … and sleeping in.
My 17-year-old son, Hunter, rose around noon, came down to the
kitchen, and asked,
”
Where’s my chocolate bunny?
”
I realized it was the first time in many years when I had not
shopped for
– or even thought about – Easter baskets.
When do kids get too old for holiday gifts?
Our Easter Sunday was a quiet one, since we had decided to have a family get-together the day before, and so Easter itself was a day of quiet contemplation … and sleeping in.
My 17-year-old son, Hunter, rose around noon, came down to the kitchen, and asked, “Where’s my chocolate bunny?”
I realized it was the first time in many years when I had not shopped for – or even thought about – Easter baskets.
Once upon a time, I would spend weeks looking for just the right items for my kids to discover on Easter morning. It was a strange feeling to realize I’d forgotten all about that.
Hunter was halfway kidding about the issue, and halfway not, so later that day, I did go out and buy him a modestly sized edible rabbit. And he was happy.
But it made me realize that I have come to a point in my life where I must make decisions about such things.
When are your children too old for childhood celebrations? That’s the crux of the issue.
My oldest, Ross, turned 21 last Friday, and we did have a party with pie (he doesn’t care for cake), cards and presents. But already my mind is straying to a small family problem: What about Christmas?
Many years ago, we got together as a family and decided that we would only give Christmas gifts to the kids. The adults didn’t need anything or want anything, and we all wanted to give each other a break from so much expense and bother.
But now Ross is not a kid anymore. And technically he became an adult three years ago, so I probably should have thought about the issue then.
But it is now time to figure out what to do about this.
And then there’s Hunter, who will be 18 in July, and technically an adult. Should I go to the family and say, “Well, Ross and Hunter are both adults now … I guess you should stop giving them gifts.”
Strangely enough, Ross would actually be more upset about the lack of gifts than Hunter would. Hunter is not an accumulator of worldly goods, and Ross definitely is. Ross likes stuff, and always has.
There are lots of occasions for them to still get presents. Hunter will be graduating from high school this June; Ross will graduate from college (if the stars all align) in June 2012.
And of course there are birthdays. And I’ll certainly be giving them Christmas gifts, and probably their grandparents will as well. I can’t see my mother giving up the chance to buy them things. That’s just the way she is.
Of course (and I can hear some of you out there saying this), relationships and special days shouldn’t be all about the presents. You are absolutely correct, which is why all of this shouldn’t be such a big deal.
And yet it’s hard to know when to stop. Should I give up the chocolate bunny tradition on Easter, especially if they still want chocolate bunnies?
What it comes down to is that your children are always your children, and try as you might, one part of your mind still sees them as the 1-year-old, the 5-year-old, and the 10-year-old that they once were, while simultaneously seeing them as their big hairy grownup selves.
And the mother in me still wants to give chocolate bunnies to the little kids inside them. And Valentines. And something for every other holiday under the sun.
