Many Christians strongly oppose the teaching of sex education in
schools. The thought is that if we show teens what sex is all
about, they will want to do these things they don’t know about yet.
Folks, don’t kid yourself … they already know!
My biggest problem with sex education is not that we tell the
kids too much, but that we don’t tell them enough. We’ve reduced
sex to a biology lesson. We’ve told them that it’s all
anatomical.
Many Christians strongly oppose the teaching of sex education in schools. The thought is that if we show teens what sex is all about, they will want to do these things they don’t know about yet. Folks, don’t kid yourself … they already know!
My biggest problem with sex education is not that we tell the kids too much, but that we don’t tell them enough. We’ve reduced sex to a biology lesson. We’ve told them that it’s all anatomical. They’re told, “take this thing and put it in that thing, but, to be safe, cover this thing with that thing before putting it in the other thing. Then everything … will be OK.” NOT!
One of the biggest myths floating through our culture today is the idea that sex outside of marriage can be “safe.” The thinking is that sex is simply biological and that taking certain precautions makes it OK. But the reality is that sex impacts us on more than the physical level. When people come together physically, the impact will also be felt emotionally, psychologically and spiritually.
They don’t tell you that part in sex ed class because our culture refuses to accept it as truth. In the movie “Indecent Proposal,” a couple is offered a million dollars if the wife will have sex with another man. The husband hesitates, but the wife says, “Hey, all I’m going to give him is my body. I’m not going give him my mind or my heart.” She is wrong, but she learns that lesson the hard way.
Imagine sticking your tongue to a frozen steel pipe and then walking away. You’ll leave part of yourself on the pipe. Many of us have had sex outside of marriage and thought, “I’ll do this and then just walk away.” You might, but you’ll leave a part of yourself on the frozen bed post.
Why? Because there is always a morning after. A good Bible example is King David, who wrote Psalm 51, a classic “morning after” story. He had gotten powerful and wealthy, and thought he could do as he pleased. He was attracted to Bathsheba, and even after he learned she was married, he wanted to have sex with her. He did, but when she left his bedroom she took a part of his soul, and he took a part of hers.
He tried to hide it. He lied to himself, his family and his friends, but, eventually, he had to deal with his sin. Psalm 51 records David’s cry to God: “Have mercy on me, O God, according to Your unfailing love; according to Your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation …”
You can feel the deep pain in his words. He’s disconnected from himself and from God, and disconnected people have no joy. Now realize, I’m not talking about circumstantial happiness. You can still have that kind of happiness if you crank up the fun factor high enough … but then there’s always the morning after. David was missing the joy of his salvation, that deep-seated sense in the center of your being that tells you everything is OK, regardless of your circumstances. Sexual purity allows you to be whole and guilt-free.
You may be thinking, “Hey, I’ve been in a relationship that wasn’t permanent, and we had sex together and I’m not ashamed of it at all.” That may be true, but, as Lewis Smedes once noted, “There are only two situations in which people feel no shame. The first is the state of wholeness. The other is the state of illusion.” You may disagree with that, but, in doing so, you are saying, “Hey, I stuck my tongue to that frozen pipe and walked away … and it doesn’t hurt at all.” But the only way you won’t feel the pain is if you are in denial, or if you’ve somehow destroyed the nerve endings in your tongue. And what I’ve found in many cases is that people have lived in such a way that they have destroyed the nerve endings to their soul. “Some will turn away from Christ … their consciences are dead, as if seared with a hot iron. They will say it is wrong to be married …” (1 Timothy 4:1-3).
If you have taken the path of promiscuity and your conscience isn’t dead yet, you know the emotional, spiritual and psychological damage that happens. I realize that many of us have “been there, done that.” For you, I have a two-fold message: First, if you are now involved in a relationship where you are fusing your soul to another through sex outside of marriage, stop … immediately. You need to be whole, and the longer you continue, the more you deaden your conscience to God’s voice. My second message to those of you who are not whole is this: The God of the universe knows where every part of your soul has gone. Some of you don’t even remember all the places where you’ve scattered it around, but He does. And if you will ask Him, He will gather every piece of it, no matter where it is, and make you whole again.
Henry Harris is senior pastor of Rolling Hills Community Church, 330 Tres Pinos Road, Hollister. If you have questions or comments, please visit the church’s Web site at rollinghillsfamily.com, e-mail pa*********@ro****************.com or phone 636-5353.
