I was thinking about the truly important aspects of life this
week.
Family, friends, happiness … how old is the wooden bar at
Whiskey Creek?
And, of course, who is Sara Jones?
Just like local lawyer and our across-the-alley neighbor Art
Cantu, I’m Jonesin’ to find out who Jones is.
I was thinking about the truly important aspects of life this week.
Family, friends, happiness … how old is the wooden bar at Whiskey Creek?
And, of course, who is Sara Jones?
Just like local lawyer and our across-the-alley neighbor Art Cantu, I’m Jonesin’ to find out who Jones is.
Unlike Sir Arthur, I don’t know how to legally maneuver through the Internet minefield to track down the elusive Ms., Mr. or Mrs. Jones.
But I do know this much: Cantu’s crusade sure has our District Attorney’s tie in a knot.
Yes, John “The Czar” Sarsfield is hotter than a jalapeno over our story that tracked Cantu’s electronic trek to make the real Sara Jones please stand up.
The Czar chewed out our reporter as if he was, well, practicing to someday show up in a San Benito County courtroom and maybe cross-examine a local villain or two.
Then The Czar sent me an e-mail saying he was misquoted, but what he meant was that some of his comments on not being Sara Jones were left out. The quote that really stands out as I recall it is “Even if I had a blonde wig, I would not be Sara Jones.” Just kidding. He didn’t mention any wig.
I tried to reach The Czar on his office phone but he was snoozing under his desk at the time and didn’t hear it ring. (OK, I made that part up, too.)
Then he didn’t call us back when he had a chance to look good on a truancy program story that The Czar’s office is part of.
So in summary, Sarsfield went into a Sara snit when he could have stood up and taken a bow. In public even!
As an astute Citizens Voicer pointed out, The Czar should have sent chocolates over to Cantu for pursuing the dastardly fake letter writer to get him off the hook.
And if anyone is in a stew over Sara it should be former crimestopper Harry Damkar, since the jive Jones lied about him and his performance as the past DA.
(Do you know that Damkar actually prosecuted some of his own cases. How weird!)
I hope Art gets to the bottom of it as well because the slippery Sara got past our letter-writer checkpoint, which is something that should never happen.
The Czar has actually been uptight about being framed as Sara Jones for a while now.
I met him for coffee at Starbuck’s – yes, he was alone, no snickering please – but he greeted me with the now-famous line: “I am not Sara Jones.” But on that fateful morning he actually chuckled about it.
Now that the Artster is closing in, The Czar does seem to have a guilty conscience, or at least a testy one.
But let’s keep it light as originally intended.
Let’s look at the rest of the suspects’ lineup, even though The Czar has moved into the No. 1 Sara Jones slot.
Richard Scagliotti: Nah. Although Sara Scagliotti sure has a ring to it.
Curtis Hill: No, he’s way too tall.
Tony Bruscia: Too short.
Dale Shaddox: Too busy.
Brian Conroy: Hmm…
Ruth Kesler, No. 1 Bob Cruz, Jaime De La Cruz, Oscar De La Hoya, Howard Dean, Oprah Winfrey, Indiana Jones, ahhhhhhh….
I can’t take it anymore. Good heavens, is there no decency left in our county?
Ladies and Gentlemen, let’s put politics aside in this time of crisis and rally behind the quest for truth, justice, the American Way and the identity of the real Sara Jones.
I just can’t picture John Sarsfield in a blonde wig.
Hurry Arthur! Before it’s too late! Run, man, run!
