Galatians 5:22 tells us that
”
the fruit of the Spirit is patience.
”
The Greek word for patience literally means
”
slow to burn.
”
In other words, a patient person does not anger quickly, so the
key to patience is anger management. The Bible teaches a simple
seven-step plan for dealing with anger in a constructive way. These
seven steps are particularly important to understand because the
people we are most likely to be angry with are the people we love
the most!
Galatians 5:22 tells us that “the fruit of the Spirit is patience.” The Greek word for patience literally means “slow to burn.” In other words, a patient person does not anger quickly, so the key to patience is anger management. The Bible teaches a simple seven-step plan for dealing with anger in a constructive way. These seven steps are particularly important to understand because the people we are most likely to be angry with are the people we love the most!
Step 1: I must understand why I get angry. Proverbs 19:11 says, “A man’s wisdom gives him patience…” The better I understand myself and others, the better I can control anger. Why? Because anger is never the real problem; it is simply an indicator of something much deeper that is wrong. Typically, there are three causes for anger:
First, we get angry when we have been hurt. The natural response to getting hurt is to throw the hurt back at the person who hurt you. This is why conflict escalates so rapidly.
A second underlying cause of anger is frustration. When things do not work out according to our timetable, we lose our patience and get angry. This happens to people waiting in lines, stuck in traffic jams, being put on hold (or forced to go through lengthy automated responses) on the telephone, etc.
A third common cause of anger is insecurity. We get angry when we feel threatened, which is why you want to avoid backing an animal (or a person!) into a corner.
Our anger is usually caused by one of these three things: insecurity, frustration or hurt, so the first step to dealing with anger constructively is to ask yourself why you are feeling angry. Once we identify the cause we can begin to formulate a game plan for removing it.
Step 2 in an effective anger management plan: I must look to God for my self worth, not other people. A sense of your own self worth is essential to controlling anger. Why? It goes back to the third reason people get angry: insecurity. Insecure people are easily angered; confident people are not. When you depend on others to define your value and they put you down, you will feel insecure and angry, but when your sense of self-worth comes from God, you can better handle the hurts and frustrations that come your way. The place to discover your value as a person is not in a human-authored, self-centered philosophy, but in a personal relationship with God. It is only there that we come to realize that our value as a person is not tied to what others think of us, but what God thinks of us. Proverbs 14:26 tells us, “Reverence for the Lord gives confidence and security…”
Next week we will explore some other ways we can control our anger in a constructive way, but ask yourself today how you can personally apply these first two steps.
Do you find yourself getting angry and not really knowing why? Look deeper into your life situation. Is someone or something hurting you? Are you frustrated about something? Are you feeling insecure? Are you feeling like your life really isn’t of much value?
Realize today that you are indeed a valuable person, particularly to God. And He demonstrated how much you matter to Him by the price He was willing to pay to establish a relationship with you: “Realize that you weren’t set free by a payment of silver or gold… Rather the payment that freed you was the precious lifeblood of Christ” (1 Peter 1:18). There is no need for anyone to wonder how much God values us. Jesus conclusively demonstrated our worth by his willingness to give his life for us. If you are thinking your life isn’t of much value, I would suggest that maybe God knows a bit more than you do, and he says you are very precious in his sight.
