What to do with $160 million
The big city papers this week reported that Stanley O’Neal,
chief executive officer of Merrill Lynch, is officially
unemployed.
What to do with $160 million
The big city papers this week reported that Stanley O’Neal, chief executive officer of Merrill Lynch, is officially unemployed.
Cry me a river.
Under his leadership, the blue chip investment firm posted a $2.24 billion loss over the last quarter. To distill that down to numbers that are a little more real, that amounts to losses of $24.9 million per day, more than $1 million an hour or $17,283.95 per minute.
For that stellar performance, O’Neal reportedly made $48 million last year. While his departure comes with no official severance package, he is expected to receive retirement and stock awards worth $160 million, according to the Toronto Star.
O’Neal is shouldering the blame for steering Merrill Lynch’s own portfolio toward riskier investments that promised higher returns. Oops.
That decision probably seemed sound before the sub-prime lending crisis now embroiling the nation came along.
So O’Neal is left with nothing to do but count his $160 million retirement package.
That news got all the high-rollers at the Pinnacle thinking this week about two things: first, how badly would we have to screw up to catch the same deal and second, what would it mean if somebody in San Benito County landed a $160 million windfall?
And since I’m typing this and you’re not, what if that somebody was me? It’s the only way any of us could grasp the magnitude of a $160 million package.
Let’s begin by positing that the Governator and the feds take a usurious share, leaving us with $50 million to play with.
I’m a little behind on the collection plate at church, so maybe a $15 million donation to St. Benedict’s Catholic Parish will put me at the head of the right line in the afterlife. That should be enough to retire the debt for the church that was completed in 1999, and to endow the school with enough money to educate generations of kids, free of charge.
I’m feeling better already. But I’ve still got $35 million to play with.
Before getting carried away, I might want to look into a new house. I’m told the current market is a buyer’s golden opportunity. So hang the expense; opportunity’s knocking! I think we can agree that San Benito County is the navel of the universe. So a quick check at mlslistings.com shows the most expensive property in the county is a 22,000 square foot home on 50 acres at 1000 San Juan Canyon Road. Asking price? $5.75 million will move me in.
Sold.
Now I’m tinkering with $29 million and change. I’ll need something to fill my idle hours and I like water, so how about a yacht? Bill Lee over at Wizard Yachts in Santa Cruz has a sweet 41-foot catamaran for sale for $245,000. I’ll take it. After all, after costing stockholders $2.24 billion I’ve earned a little luxury.
Now I’m left with $29 million on the nose. The piggy bank’s a little low, and if I stick, say, $10 million in a smart place – perhaps not with Merrill Lynch – I might be able to count on a pretty robust interest income for the rest of my life.
I could also finally buy a brand new pickup while I’m out shopping.
That still leaves me with almost $19 million. Fully equipped with new toys it’s time for the real fun to begin.
That kind of money could transform San Benito County. How about endowments for Emmaus House and the Homeless Task Force? It would be nice for the world to see that we do not turn our backs on our own just when they most need us.
While we’re talking endowments, a gift to the organization that put the notion of endowment funds in front of us, the Community Foundation for San Benito County, would sure produce a warm feeling inside.
I like to get out and stretch my legs, and so does our dog. While we’re surrounded with natural splendor, there are too few places that are available to the public. The leftovers might purchase a pretty nice regional park, with enough set aside to guarantee maintenance in perpetuity.
That was a good day’s work.
With all that money spent, I think the dog and I will go run around in San Benito County’s brand new park.
O’Neal has not announced plans to move to San Benito County, but it’s nice to dream about what some wealth could do for a community with so many needs.
Maybe someday.
