Stop all the tanning and save some wrinkles down the road
Why is America suddenly so obsessed with tanning? And tanning
that you have to pay for?
Somehow, a tan went from something you got at the beach to
something you get from climbing into an enormous lighted clamshell
thing. It’s just not right.
When I was young, summer was prime time for tanning, but I don’t
remember anyone going to a tanning salon and actually paying for
what you could get for free out-of-doors. We tanned on the beach.
Around pools. In backyards. On rooftops and on patios. Even on
front lawns of apartment complexes.
Stop all the tanning and save some wrinkles down the road

Why is America suddenly so obsessed with tanning? And tanning that you have to pay for?

Somehow, a tan went from something you got at the beach to something you get from climbing into an enormous lighted clamshell thing. It’s just not right.

When I was young, summer was prime time for tanning, but I don’t remember anyone going to a tanning salon and actually paying for what you could get for free out-of-doors. We tanned on the beach. Around pools. In backyards. On rooftops and on patios. Even on front lawns of apartment complexes.

Yes, there we were, young and dumb in our bikinis, slathered with baby oil (who had even heard of SPFs then?) and holding cardboard covered with foil to reflect the rays of the sun where it counted most.

Now I’m regretting it, and I’ll bet a lot of you out there are, too.

Little did we know that we were setting ourselves up for skin lesions, melanoma, and wrinkles. All that baby oil helped get me and my friends really tanned, but who knew it would cause all that damage later on?

Luckily, I went on to work for 20 years in newsrooms, far away from the sun’s UV rays, with nary an afternoon off to tan. That helped reverse some of the insult to the skin. But now I’m seeing kids doing it to themselves on purpose.

These days, I’m hiding from the sun as much as I can. If I do inadvertently get a tan, then I just worry about what I’m doing to my skin. As for tanning parlors, well, I just wouldn’t go there.

Now don’t get me wrong. There’s nothing wrong with a healthy glow. It’s just that it’s gotten to be kind of like an invasion of Oompa-Loompas everywhere you look – a whole host of overly tanned people who have that weird orange glow to them.

To what can we attribute this phenomenon? Perhaps we can blame it on the MTV show “Jersey Shore,” where empty-headed reality show stars have made a religion of GTL (gym, tanning, laundry) as their daily routine.

Leading the bronzed pack is Snooki, whose awesome hue is so striking that it can be seen from outer space. It is a sight to be hold, but attractive? Fuggetaboudit.

But we cannot lay the fault completely at the feet of “Jersey Shore” (much as we’d like to). After all, when the Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives is just as peculiar a color as Snooki, there’s plenty of blame to spread around.

I have never been able to figure out why John Boehner, the aforementioned speaker, is so orange. He claims not to go to tanning salons, and yet the man has some bizarre coloration to his face.

Celebrities that have been accused of being overly tanned in recent months include Kim Kardashian, Jennifer Aniston, Paris Hilton and Christina Aguilera; and then there’s George Hamilton, but he’s always been way too tanned.

There are even people now who claim to be addicted to tanning and can’t stay away from the tanning beds.

Now as I understand it, there is tanning-bed tanning and there are spray-on tans. I suppose the spray-on type won’t give you skin cancer, but perhaps the research is still out on that one. At least spray-on tans shouldn’t cause wrinkles.

Anyway, as we head into the summer season, all of you out there, tan with care. We don’t want to see you looking like saddle leather. It’s really not a good look for you.

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A staff member wrote, edited or posted this article, which may include information provided by one or more third parties.

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