When drivers get dumb
The other day a friend told me that he reached a speed of 100
mph in his RV while his children watched
”
Pirates of the Caribbean
”
in the back. I told him it sounded like a bad idea.
When drivers get dumb
The other day a friend told me that he reached a speed of 100 mph in his RV while his children watched “Pirates of the Caribbean” in the back. I told him it sounded like a bad idea.
“Well, yeah,” he said. “We were in the middle of nowhere and it just happened. I needed to see what the thing could do. Then I thought ‘what am I doing?’ and knocked it off. I don’t know what happened to me.”
My friend is a good person. He coaches Little League without screaming at children or their parents. He is a highly educated professional. He walks his dog. He has no criminal record.
But something happened to him when he got behind the wheel. We see it every day. Good people are overwhelmed by the impulse to be dumb. I am not ashamed to admit that I understand the urge to see if an RV can get to 100 mph. I know it is a dumb idea. But if I’m in Nevada, I might be able to pull it off.
Each morning I drive to work someone does something ill-advised, questionable, or psychotic. It usually involves Hwy. 156 near San Juan Bautista. Between Hwy. 101 and San Juan Bautista drivers are unable to contain themselves. It usually involves high-speed lane changes.
There are a couple of outstanding maneuvers. The first is when a driver magnetizes to your bumper – even when you are in the slow lane – and swerves to pass at 80 mph. Then you pull up behind him/her when they stop for the light.
The second high-concept move occurs when speeding drivers scream past on the right shoulder, at the bottleneck. When this happens you get to tailgate them when the traffic slowdown hits heading into Hollister.
There are many theories as to why people go bad behind the wheel. I decided to research using only the latest scientific methods. This meant punching “bad drivers” into the Google space. What I found were loads of videos featuring auto, motorcycle, bus, crane, and tank mishaps.
My personal-favorite mishap is the person who drove into a Taco Bell. Gives new meaning to “drive thru.” For years I hoped someone would ram Taco Bell in a Buick. The cop who drove into wet cement and got stuck isn’t bad. The low-speed tank accident is also fascinating.
But let’s get to the hard science of bad driving. I’ve always suspected that it cuts across the cultural spectrum. Anyone can execute a dumb move. All education backgrounds and races are equally capable of erratic lane changing.
It turns out bad driving is a hormone thing. Really. It has to do with testosterone. German researchers tell us it goes back to the womb. You can always count on German researchers for the big insights.
Here is what they state, and I am not making this up: “Spatial skills such as map reading and parking may be difficult for some women because they had too little testosterone in the womb.”
So, um, women drivers have trouble parking because they didn’t get enough testosterone from their moms. Now everything makes sense. If you are ever with a man who mutters “women drivers” you can say “it’s not her fault, it’s an inner-child issue.”
I’ll tell my friend that next time he gets the impulse to drive his RV at 100 mph he should let his wife drive. But when the time comes to park, he’d better take the wheel.
It’s a little confusing, so hopefully the Germans can come through with more research to clear it all up.
