Reel-life (and real-life) romance gone awry
In general my experiences with romance have never been anything
like what I see in the movies. When I started hanging out with the
first boy I ever kissed, 10 years out of high school, it was the
perfect chance for a romantic movie arc. We started hanging out as
the wedding of other high school friends approached
– his best friend was finally getting hitched to one of my best
friends.
He had rsvp’ed to the wedding with a guest, but decided not to
bring someone when he heard I was going solo. I sat at his table
with his family and his mother drilled me as though I might become
a permanent fixture. As the night wore on, he got really drunk at
the wedding and I kept him from driving home intoxicated, a perfect
dramatic moment for a movie. We hung out some more and he told me
about the last girl who broke his heart. I felt sorry for him and
excused his drunken behavior. Again, great movie fodder. And then
he forgot to show up for a birthday gathering with my friends and
was thoroughly unapologetic about it. End scene.
Reel-life (and real-life) romance gone awry
In general my experiences with romance have never been anything like what I see in the movies. When I started hanging out with the first boy I ever kissed, 10 years out of high school, it was the perfect chance for a romantic movie arc. We started hanging out as the wedding of other high school friends approached – his best friend was finally getting hitched to one of my best friends.
He had rsvp’ed to the wedding with a guest, but decided not to bring someone when he heard I was going solo. I sat at his table with his family and his mother drilled me as though I might become a permanent fixture. As the night wore on, he got really drunk at the wedding and I kept him from driving home intoxicated, a perfect dramatic moment for a movie. We hung out some more and he told me about the last girl who broke his heart. I felt sorry for him and excused his drunken behavior. Again, great movie fodder. And then he forgot to show up for a birthday gathering with my friends and was thoroughly unapologetic about it. End scene.
So most romances in real life are not so much like the movies and when I do go to see a romantic comedy, I certainly don’t want it to turn out like my real life experiences. I want to watch someone swept off their feet, music swelling as they kiss and to know that no matter what obstacle they encounter, their love will conquer all. That’s exactly why a few movies top my list as the most unbearable romantic comedies of all time.
The Break-Up
This movie promised to be hilarious and full of plenty of chemistry, since rumors were flying as the movie came out that leading man Vince Vaughn was dating leading lady Jennifer Aniston. And Vaughn is just the king of funny. But the film went astray when it delivered more tears than laughs for viewers.
I saw the movie with a friend while on vacation and as we left the theater she said, “That’s the most depressing movie I’ve ever seen.”
The problem with “The Break-Up” is that it is really about a break-up and from early on in the movie it is clear there is not much hope of the formerly loving couple ending up together. As with most women, I could completely relate to the scene in which Brooke (Aniston) gets mad at Gary (Vaughn) because he doesn’t want to help with the dishes.
“I want you to want to do the dishes,” she shouts in exasperation.
But it’s not about the dishes. It’s about wanting someone to do nice things for you because they love you without having to ask for it, even if it means doing the dishes.
We watch as the couple tries to share their living quarters despite the break-up and as they each make a play to stay together in their own time. By the time the relationship really is over, we are rejoicing.
The Last Kiss
I probably should have known this movie was going to be bad since the main reason I rented it was because Rachel Bilson was in it. She played Summer on “The O.C.” and she’s just super cute. The movie also starred Blythe Danner and Tom Wilkinson who are usually powerhouse performers, but even they couldn’t keep this movie afloat.
Michael (Zach Braff) and Jenna (Jacinda Barrett) are happily engaged with a baby on the way when Michael stupidly decides to risk it all for an affair with a cute young college girl (Bilson). Of course he has no role models around him to show him the way to marital bliss, as every one of his friends is in a dysfunctional relationship. Even Jenna’s parents are on the verge of divorce after many unhappy years together.
Michael meets Kim and at first just flirts with her, but once he crosses the line he confesses that he has a fiancee and a baby on the way.
There is not one funny moment in this so-called romantic comedy and it wasn’t even very heart-wrenching since the screenwriters didn’t write the characters well enough to make me care about them.
Threesome
This is a movie whose name should have given it away. I saw it when I was 15 and probably didn’t quite get what the title meant. It was actually the one and only movie I saw with that aforementioned first boy I ever kissed. My two best friends and I went to see it – he invited himself along.
The movie lives up to its name in that it is about three college roommates who end up in a bizarre love triangle – and yeah, they do have a threesome. The first boy I ever kissed put his hands over my eyes during the sex scene and that was when I kinda knew he liked me. Eddy (Josh Charles) and Stuart (Stephen Baldwin) are paired up with a third roommate, Alex. But surprise, surprise, this Alex, played by Lara Flynn Boyle, is not a man. Alex quickly falls for Eddy, who happens to be gay, and Eddy falls for Stuart, who is lusting after Alex.
As far as romantic comedies go, I guess this one is pretty far from reality because I doubt many straight guys would find themselves in a menage-a-trois with a gay guy and a woman. But it ends unhappily for all involved.
However lame the movie was, I guess in a little way it led to my first romance, even though it was short-lived and ill fated. I think I’ll stay away from trying to make my own romantic experiences like the movies.
