Have you ever been in a situation where you wanted to express
your love to someone openly, but when the time came to actually do
it you kind of froze up and offered an edited version instead? I
have, and invariably I try to rationalize it. I’ll think,
”
I want to, but it probably wouldn’t mean that much to them.
”
That’s an interesting rationalization, because every time
someone expresses love toward me, it always matters!
Have you ever been in a situation where you wanted to express your love to someone openly, but when the time came to actually do it you kind of froze up and offered an edited version instead? I have, and invariably I try to rationalize it. I’ll think, “I want to, but it probably wouldn’t mean that much to them.” That’s an interesting rationalization, because every time someone expresses love toward me, it always matters! Or I’ll think, “I want to show my love, but what if I don’t do it right? What if I say something stupid and make a fool out of myself?” That’s also a curious way of thinking, because even when someone stammered, stumbled and bumbled in their expression of love toward me, it never mattered because I saw their heart and was deeply touched.
After a few of these sorts of excuses, the capper statement comes into my mind: “Oh well, the important thing is that I feel the love for them; it’s not necessary to always show it.” What a tragedy to think that way, because love is much more of an action than it is a feeling. This is why the Bible goes to great lengths to show us how we can express it. Let’s consider some of the basics, a sort of “Love Lessons 101.” If you feel love in your heart for someone and want to show it, here are four practical ways to do so.
The first and most obvious way you can express your love is by just coming right out and saying it. I think the three most powerful words in the world are “I love you.” They sure were powerful when you were dating… remember that? Here’s a common sequence: You find someone, go on your first date and end up at the door saying something like, “I really enjoyed being with you.” Time passes, the relationship deepens a bit, and you say things like, “I really like you,” and “you are very important to me.” But all that is just a precursor for the big night when the whole relationship gets redefined: One of you says the “L” word and once that happens, the relationship is changed forever. Many of us have mates and children and friends that need to hear those three words from us much more often.
A second great way to express love is via writing. Some of us know the power of the written word, but if you don’t, you need to realize how special a letter or card can be. There is something tangible about a written expression of love, something you can revisit again and again. When you are feeling down it’s great to pull out a letter or card of encouragement sent by someone who loves you, so write some of your own to encourage your loved ones.
A third way we can show our love is through small acts of kindness. These can be powerful communicators because they say, “I was thinking about you and wanted to let you know how much I care.” It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate; it could be something as simple as doing some baby-sitting or bringing a meal when they are ill. Small acts of kindness mean so much more than the effort it takes to do them.
Another way we can express our love is by entering into the life experiences of our loved ones. God tells us to “rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15). In other words, we are to do life with one another; we’re to celebrate the good times in each other’s lives and rejoice in the successes, and we’re to be there for each other when tragedy strikes or dreams are broken.
Imagine how much richer your life could be if you began today to live out these four ways of demonstrating you love. If you really want to experience deeper, more loving relationships, this is the recipe. Don’t just hope they know how much you love them, be sure they know.
