It’s a national tragedy of the holiday season almost nobody can
avoid. From children in Hollister to the elderly in New York, we
are all tormented by GAP commercials.
It’s a national tragedy of the holiday season almost nobody can avoid. From children in Hollister to the elderly in New York, we are all tormented by GAP commercials.
Does anyone else feel like throwing a shoe at the TV when those preppy models prance across the screen? Well, a week ago I lost my composure. Fortunately for the TV I have the throwing aim of a donkey.
Hollister’s famed movie critic Jed Logan said this week about GAP ads: “Uhhh, they’re kinda fun.”
Basketball is fun. Nintendo is fun. Chinese buffets are fun. GAP ads are not fun.
I have one measly channel in Hollister, NBC-8. And so I rarely watch TV, maybe 30 minutes a day. Yet almost every time the TV is on I’m forced to watch 20-something models dance merrily across a spotless white backdrop – in their own little GAP heaven.
This year, it’s the commercial with the song “Love Train” that goes “People all over the world… join hands. Start a love train… love train…”
It makes me want to catch a train to Canada.
Having only one channel creates a more complex problem. First, I’m a guy without the option to flip through channels during commercials – which is tragic in itself. But now I have to sit through an assembly line of scruffy-faced male models and women I’d have no chance with, as I cringe for any alternative: the next commercial, Dateline NBC, a power outage. Or even the Channel 8 News.
OK, so it’s not that bad. But these commercials do represent a real problem with advertising. Aside from the accurately representative dancing skills of GAP’s white male models, the actors seem to be just perfect. They’re tall, thin and sexy – normal by no means. The women, thin and adorable. The men, gruff and perfectly toned. And they’re all wearing their colorful, charming sweaters and winter hats.
Am I jealous? Maybe. Will it push me to spend more time and money on appearance and expensive clothing? I’d rather spend it on some beers and the latest line of Pro Spirit apparel at Target.
GAP should try doing its next casting call at DMVs throughout the nation. Or they could go to a grocery store where real folks hang out. They could even go to any GAP store and find average-looking people.
It’s not just GAP, of course. Most other clothing companies emphasize perfection. Media-effects analysts have been preaching for years that this bombardment of beauty in the media lowers the collective self-esteem of the public.
I commend those Cover Girl ads featuring the less-than-bone-thin Queen Latifa. OK, I don’t necessarily enjoy those commercials, but I like what they’re trying to represent. Looking less than perfect is OK.
The fault I specifically have with GAP is a repetitive commercial being shoved down my throat every holiday season. It has become a more annoying Christmas tradition than my dad neatly unwrapping and folding the paper as he opens gifts.
Of course, I wouldn’t throw a shoe at Dad on Christmas morning to hurry his unwrapping. But I would if he started singing “Love Train” while merrily dancing through the living room.
Don’t even think about it, Dad.
