Brotherly love does not extend to the halls of high school
A colleague this week noted with a chuckle that she saw my two
sons pass each other in the school crosswalk recently and they
barely acknowledged each other, offering only the Hollister head
nod
– when one person lifts their chin at another.
I don’t really know how they interact at school, though it’s
safe to assume that the older one ignores the younger one in
public.
Brotherly love does not extend to the halls of high school
A colleague this week noted with a chuckle that she saw my two sons pass each other in the school crosswalk recently and they barely acknowledged each other, offering only the Hollister head nod – when one person lifts their chin at another.
I don’t really know how they interact at school, though it’s safe to assume that the older one ignores the younger one in public.
In the early morning on a school day, when teenagers are at their cheeriest, they do occasionally acknowledge each other, though not always in a positive fashion.
“Hurry up; we’re going to be late for school!”
“Stop chewing so loud!”
“You can’t wear that sweatshirt. I’m wearing the same color today!”
It’s truly a joy having two teens under the same roof at once.
When I was in high school, my sister was two years behind me, so we had chance encounters on campus during my junior and senior years. The dynamic was different than what my boys are experiencing, as there were half as many students at San Benito High School in the late 80s.
I probably saw my sister at least once each day, since the campus was less spread out than it is now. Unlike my older son, I went out of my way to acknowledge my younger sibling.
I did this not because I was a caring brother just checking on the welfare of little sis. It’s because I knew that my acknowledgement would embarrass her, and therefore it fulfilled one of the primary duties of an older brother.
“Hey Amy!” I’d say, waving at her as we passed.
She’d try to ignore me at times, but I know she heard me and very likely saw me.
To this day, I do my best to embarrass her in public situations and she does her best to reciprocate. As of later this year, we’ll both be in our 40s and this is still going on.
The thing about siblings is that their history, their shared experiences and their familial ties mean that time stands still when they are together.
All the things that we used to make fun of each other about when we were 12 are still fodder 30 years later.
My sister will ask how long the doctor said I have to wear those shoes and I’ll ask if she’s getting dressed for a Duran Duran concert. Just a look or me standing too close to her can take us back to the good old days of Amy calling our mom at work to ask our busy mother to tell me to stop bugging. Then I’d get on the phone and say that she started it.
Now when we bug each other at my mom’s house or throw things at each other or do some other immature act reminiscent of our childhood, my mom will just laugh, knowing that her work is done for better or worse.
For all of the arguing and irritation that my sons show toward one another, it’s clear that they care about each other – though they would never admit that.
They may not hang out together or say hello at school, but my older one will help the younger one with his homework if he’s stuck and the younger one will carry his brother’s bat bag to the car if he needs help.
The real test at school is whether my sons will acknowledge me in the halls. The last person that high schoolers want to be seen with around their friends in public is a parent, so I respect their distance when we are on campus together.
But if my sister ever visits San Benito High School and I see her, you can bet I’ll yell her name so that everyone looks – just like the old days.
Adam Breen writes a blog at http://thebreenblog.blogspot.com and teaches newspaper and yearbook classes at San Benito High School. He is a reporter for The Pinnacle and former editor of the Free Lance. He can be reached by e-mail at
ab****@pi**********.com
.
