Instructing a teen behind the wheel can drive a parent crazy
My wife has made it clear that she will not be our oldest son’s
driving instructor. She will encourage him and she will support
him, but she will not sit next to him in the front seat while he’s
learning how to keep his hands at 10 and 2 and do the
”
mirror check/shoulder check
”
when changing lanes.
Instructing a teen behind the wheel can drive a parent crazy
My wife has made it clear that she will not be our oldest son’s driving instructor. She will encourage him and she will support him, but she will not sit next to him in the front seat while he’s learning how to keep his hands at 10 and 2 and do the “mirror check/shoulder check” when changing lanes.
She wants him to learn how to drive, as it is a rite of passage and a necessary skill for a young person to acquire. She just doesn’t want to be the one in the front seat when he scrapes the tires on the curb while learning how to parallel park.
I respect her decision and I accept my role as the family driving instructor. I’ve told her that I’m a little surprised at her reluctance to offer her driving wisdom to her son because she offers it quite often to her husband, particularly when her husband passes a great parking spot at the mall or doesn’t take the ideal route to our youngest son’s school in the morning. She is my co-pilot in life, so I guess I have to accept her as my co-pilot in the car.
Now that our son has passed the 15-and-a-half age mark, he has his sights set at age 16 and a driver license (remember, it’s not a driver’s license with the “s,” check your wallet). He has taken an online driver education prep course and is ready to practice for the real thing.
I have been a driver for a quarter-century, logging perhaps a quarter-million miles behind the wheel of various vehicles. I have (officially) been in three accidents, none of which were my fault, and I have gotten two speeding tickets, both of which were my fault but were expunged from my record through trips to traffic school. I have run over one dog – again, not my fault; it ran in front of my car when I was in high school. I’ve had a bird or two run into the grill of my truck and perhaps have run over a squirrel or two – those creatures are too daring for their own good on country roads.
I have practiced extensively on driving video games and I’ve offered plenty of advice to my wife while she is driving. Remember, we are each other’s co-pilots.
When my sister-in-law turned 16 while my soon-to-be wife and I were in college, I was the driving instructor because my then-fiance was too scared to be sitting next to a novice driver.
So, some 20 years later, I handed the keys to my son the other day on a secluded, abandoned stretch of road and told him to show me what he knows. I was a little nervous, but he’s a smart kid with good hand-eye coordination, so I stayed outwardly calm.
He knew how to adjust the seat and the mirrors; he knew how to put the truck in drive and he knew the difference between the brake and the gas pedal. We were off to a great start.
To my relief, he was a bit nervous behind the wheel, which meant he drove slowly and carefully. I even encouraged him once to gas it a bit just to get up to 25 mph. He used the blinker, he learned how to look over his shoulder while backing up and he parked relatively well in an empty parking lot stall.
All in all, I was pleased, he was excited about the opportunity and we didn’t run over anything. It was a small, first step, putting him a little farther along the road to independence.
Every time one of my San Benito High School students tells me they just got their license, I groan or flinch and plead with them not to be on the road when I am.
I can’t do that with my son, as I want to be on the road with him while he’s learning so I can pass on all the knowledge that my wife/co-pilot has passed on to me.
Get more Breen Damage at Adam’s blog, http://thebreenblog.blogspot.com . Adam teaches newspaper and yearbook classes at San Benito High School and is a reporter for The Pinnacle.
