Unsure of which handshake to use? Get a grip
The handshake is an accepted and expected greeting and
congratulatory gesture in our society, but there are so many
variations of the greeting that sometimes it’s hard to know which
one to use.
The best bet is the regular handshake, going palm-to-palm and
moving the hands up and down two or three times. That is the
default greeting when meeting someone, or at least most people.
Unsure of which handshake to use? Get a grip
The handshake is an accepted and expected greeting and congratulatory gesture in our society, but there are so many variations of the greeting that sometimes it’s hard to know which one to use.
The best bet is the regular handshake, going palm-to-palm and moving the hands up and down two or three times. That is the default greeting when meeting someone, or at least most people.
One youth baseball coach I know eschews the regular handshake and does the more sporty variation in which the hands face up, instead of straight toward the recipient, and the elbows almost touch. Then, the grip is partially released so that only the four fingers are joined; then it’s finished off with a fist bump.
If you’re not prepared for it, it can be confusing, because coordination between the shakers is required. Doing that “cool” greeting improperly makes it look like the two men are having a slap fight or engaging in an uncomfortable square dance (is there any other kind?)
I’ve shaken his hands enough for him to know that I feel more comfortable with the traditional handshake.
A certain local candidate for elected office has one of the most impressive handshakes I’ve ever experienced. One needs to be prepared for it, because he winds up and fires his hand to yours – almost like he is throwing a fencing foil at an opponent – and then offers a hearty shake that could knock you backward if you’re not properly balanced. It’s well-meaning and he does it with a smile, so it’s not unacceptable in my mind, unless his grip crushes my bones and leaves me on the verge of tears.
For some people, a strong handshake is an attempt at dominance or as a show of strength. A greeting should not imply “I will crush you.”
Some people I’ve met and greeted are on the other end of the spectrum. It is like they are handing out butterflies or newborn birds as they gently place their hand in mine and softly shake. Those handshakes are creepy.
At times, a handshake can go badly, like when one person fails to get the proper grip on the other person’s hand.
For a first-time greeting, there is only one chance to make an impression, so you want to avoid the mistake shake. Grabbing only the fingers of the other shaker instead of going palm to palm is an example.
Reaching too far and grabbing the person’s wrist is another mistake shake, unless you are a gladiator.
The fist bump is becoming an accepted variation of or replacement for the handshake in some situations, like when game show host Howie Mandel – a noted germophobe – greets contestants. It’s not appropriate to use the fist bump while on a job interview or when expressing condolences at a funeral.
It’s also not good to do the fist bump while wearing a ring of any substance, as that could have the affect of brass knuckles.
My mom occasionally throws out a fist bump while greeting me or the grandkids, and she wears rings that could be damaging to knuckles, so I’ve got to watch out when saying hello to her.
When in doubt, it’s best to use the good, old-fashioned handshake; not too overbearing, not too wimpy. Don’t bring a person to their knees while squeezing too hard, don’t creep them out while shaking too softly. And if mom or grandma is offering a fist bump, make sure they’re not wearing rings.
Adam Breen writes a blog at http://thebreenblog.blogspot.com and teaches newspaper and yearbook classes at San Benito High School. He is a reporter at The Pinnacle and former editor of the Free Lance.
