Has TV finally reached the basement floor?
MTV has a new dating show called

A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila.

It’s just like other dating shows in which contestants compete
for the love of the star. This one has a twist though, 16 women and
men compete against each other for her affections.
This is the kind of show that you need to take a shower after
watching it so you can wash the sleaze off.
Has TV finally reached the basement floor?

MTV has a new dating show called “A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila.” It’s just like other dating shows in which contestants compete for the love of the star. This one has a twist though, 16 women and men compete against each other for her affections.

This is the kind of show that you need to take a shower after watching it so you can wash the sleaze off.

Twenty-six year old Tila Tequila ( a.k.a. Tila Nguyen) is a model, singer and actress. She has been in Maxim and Stuff magazines, she was in the movie “I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry,” her single from her debut album is called “Stripper Friends,” but what she is most famous for is having the largest amount of friends on MySpace.com. As of this writing (Nov. 12) she has 2,231,836 friends, including me.

According to her MySpace blog the first episode had 1.8 million viewers and won the No. 1 spot in its time period among people ages 18-34. That’s a lot of people who like to watch horrible TV shows.

Tila seems like a nice person. She is cute and petite. She only stands 4-foot-11. She has tattoos on her arms. She walks around in the skimpiest outfits throughout the show. Her bathing suit is so small that it appears to be the size of a washcloth.

At least she has some sort of talent, which is more than I can say for Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian and Tiffany Pollard from “I Love New York.” She says that she is “wearing her heart on her sleeve” and that she is serious about finding someone to fall in love with.

It bothers me is that this is the first time that she is coming out as bisexual. She says that it is really hard for her and that her parents don’t even know. It’s just my opinion, but wouldn’t it be better for her to sit down and tell her parents herself instead of having them find out on a stupid MTV dating show? Or perhaps it’s just another cheap plot device?

If she is serious then MTV is playing a cruel joke on her. You should see some of the winners that they picked to be on the show. I can’t even stand to be with these people for an hour on TV so I don’t know how she could fall in love with any of them.

Let’s start with the men. Ashley is the most loathsome. He’s an elementary school teacher and guidance counselor from West Virginia. He’s a big redneck guy who can’t keep his mouth shut and likes to start fights. I wouldn’t want this guy teaching my kids.

There is also Michael from Rhode Island, who delivers pizza and sleeps on his mother’s couch. There is a wrestler from Nevada named Rob. There’s an Italian guy named Domenico. He’s a little guy who wears a headband and walks around in a Speedo that says “100 percent Italian” on the butt. He also has the worst accent that I’ve ever heard. I think that his whole act is fake and I’m willing to bet that he’s probably from the Midwest somewhere. His nickname on the show is Little Italy.

There are two women from the Bay Area. Lala is a hairdresser from Richmond who really hates men. Brenda is from San Jose and she was once Miss Teen Northern California. There’s Vanessa from New York. She’s a stripper and she reminds me of Leah Remini from “The King Of Queens.” She’s the girl who causes the most trouble.

My favorite guy is Bobby. He’s from Brooklyn and he’s a student in film school. He just seems like a cool guy. He doesn’t start any trouble and he gets along with everyone.

Brandi from Costa Mesa is my favorite among the girls. She’s a pretty blonde. Of all of the girls she comes off as the most real. She’s been on her own since she was 16 and she’s a tough chick.

Tila seems to be more interested in the women than the men, but she does make out with just about everyone. Can’t she get some kind of disease like lockjaw or mono?

She puts the contestants through different challenges. She had the men walk a runway with high heels on. The women had to do 20 pushups. There was a pie-eating contest. They had to wash a Humvee using only their body parts.

At the end of each episode she eliminates the people she doesn’t like. When she eliminates people she tells them that “their shot at love is over” then the remaining contestants gather around and do tequila shots. Did I mention that all of the contestants sleep in one giant bed?

Watching the show is painful, but I can’t look away. It’s like getting a shot at the doctor’s office. I know it’s going to hurt and I should close my eyes, but I can’t. I have to watch the needle go into my arm. Watching “A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila” without looking away is my way of proving that I’m a tough guy.

I do like Tila Tequila though. I bought the Maxim magazine that she was in and she used to be the wallpaper on my computer screen. So, Tila, if you read this and you are serious about finding a nice guy to fall in love with I’m available. By the way I don’t sleep on the couch at my mother’s house.

I have my own room.

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A staff member wrote, edited or posted this article, which may include information provided by one or more third parties.

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