Hey! That’s my movie idea!
If my column makes less sense than usual it is that I am
preoccupied with a lawsuit with Warner Brothers and their
mega-hit
”
300 Spartans.
”
They stole the idea from my 1962 screenplay
”
299 Chicanos
”
based on the incident in Hollister when 300 Mexican Americans
led by me were going to disrupt the grand opening of Taco Bell. But
when I saw the Taco Bell’s manager’s chimichangas I defected. Aye
chee waa waa!
Hey! That’s my movie idea!
If my column makes less sense than usual it is that I am preoccupied with a lawsuit with Warner Brothers and their mega-hit “300 Spartans.” They stole the idea from my 1962 screenplay “299 Chicanos” based on the incident in Hollister when 300 Mexican Americans led by me were going to disrupt the grand opening of Taco Bell. But when I saw the Taco Bell’s manager’s chimichangas I defected. Aye chee waa waa!
Speaking of defecting, remember last week I wrote about that lefty lawyer who kept heckling that beloved Hollister minister who just returned from a tour in Iraq as a chaplain? Well the new lawyer to Hollister who also gave the finger to the minister found that what little he had in his briefs wasn’t needed in Hollister. He “resigned.” Hopefully he has gone to Washington to defend Alberto Gonzales, the attorney general.
The Democrats make me laugh though when they say that Alberto was appointed by the President for political reasons as though they have never heard of a Democratic president appointing an attorney general for political purposes or worse. May I remind them of President John F. Kennedy appointing his little brother, Bobby, who had never even tried one case in court, to the highest prosecuting job in the United States, that of attorney general. Pendulum swing like a pendulum do. So now the first Mexican American Attorney General of the United States may be working for Taco Bell. “298 Chicanos”?
Carole Cherry, yes that Carole Cherry, my good friend in Hollister loves to tell people that since I moved to Hollywood that I hang around with Jack. Of course that is a lie. Jack likes to hang around with me.
Like the police chief Ferlin Husky in “Casablanca” I am shocked, just shocked, that there is gambling going on at Rick’s place. But not nearly as shocked to hear that in Brazil the government is cracking down on the Reborn in Christ Church. The government claims that the church is “A personal enrichment scheme for its leaders and their cronies.” Shocking, just shocking, a religion that enriches the leaders and leaves the parishioners poor. This has never, ever, ever, ever happened before.
Liked that story about my favorite tamale parlor, Progresso’s. The fact that my sister-in-law makes all their tamales from scratch was not the reason I liked the article but because we had forgotten her name. In the family Liz Valenzuela is simply known as the Tamale Queen.
Speaking of queens, Little Richard likes to claim he’s the King of Rock ‘n’ Roll. Beg to differ and now for the first time the movie I have seen in a theatre more times than any other has come to DVD. “Rock Around The Clock” with Bill Haley and his Comets was the first rock ‘n’ roll film ever made. It was 1956 when the film rocked the nation and continued my love affair with rock ‘n’ roll until the Beatles killed it. The film also introduced The Platters. And why did one of the Platters say they loved me? No, not him, not him and not him but her. More next week as to why I was invited by the female singer of The Platters onto their tour bus. Aye chee waa waa. Let the good times roll.
Last week I mentioned chatting with Alex Desert, the great character actor on “Becker,” who told me how lucky he was to have a great and profitable five-year run so now he can do what he likes to do. He is in a local band and having the time of his life. Isn’t it the way? Actors want to be directors or rock ‘n’ roll stars. Taco Bell managers want to be writers and all I ever wanted to be was a Taco Bell manager. And yes, I know most of you wish my wish would come true. Do you want a jalapeno on your chimichangas?
Drugs sometimes produce something positive. When Judy Garland couldn’t continue filming “Annie Get Your Gun” in 1949 due to drugs the role was given to Betty Hutton. Hutton passed away this week but her “Annie Get Your Gun” will never die as it is the most perfect musical ever. The DVD is the perfect evening for the family. And for those of you who think “Dream Girls” was a musical you will be initiated in what a real musical is. Try and get the version with the extras as you will see scenes of Judy Garland trying to do the part. She thought she was great but if most teens would see themselves on tape while high they might understand why it is called dope.
Just received a disturbing fax about the Premiere Theatre in Hollister holding a one-night-a-week art house film, the kind the old Granada Theatre showed on a regular basis when Howard Taormino was the manager. Will look into it as apparently it is the best kept secret in town. Remember, there is more to movies than “Wild Hogs” with John Revolting.
And finally thank goodness even Hollywood doesn’t buy into Al Gore’s version of global warming. Sure the big stars in mansions do but I live in the real Hollywood where the writers, extras and grips come to grip with real life not reel life. According to last week’s poll in the Los Angeles Daily News, the question was asked “Do you think Al Gore’s scientific conclusions are accurate? 78 percent said no. I responded that I believe Al Gore just like I believe the oil companies who say they keep raising the price of gas in order to make more jobs for their minority employees. “Hey Pedro, get the ladder and change that price.” Aye chee waa waa.
