Bob does an Oscar redux
”
Los Valientes
”
have reared their ugly rears again in Hollister. They are those
cowardly misfits who like to think of themselves as community
leaders but hide behind anonymity just like their Southern cousins,
the Ku Klux Klan, except in designer sheets. Oh sheet.
Bob does an Oscar redux
“Los Valientes” have reared their ugly rears again in Hollister. They are those cowardly misfits who like to think of themselves as community leaders but hide behind anonymity just like their Southern cousins, the Ku Klux Klan, except in designer sheets. Oh sheet.
They think nobody knows who they are but are so damned dumb they forget they live in Hollister where not only does everyone know your name they know your game. At parties people point to them and giggle. They like to think of themselves as vigilantes as though that is really something a grown man should aspire to.
They are so damned dumb they misread a Spanish word in a Western paperback: “Zero.” Zero being the dumber brother of Zorro. When you go back to the word’s original root, a Greco-Aztec Spanish derivative of Los Valientes means a fly that feeds off the rectum of a monkey. I should know. I just shooed a valiente off my butt.
Love that HBO miniseries John Adams. Absolutely scholarly excitement and proved what the 1,000-year-old man said: Paul Revere was anti-semitic. I am sure I heard him yelling “The Yiddish are coming, the Yiddish are coming!”
Angela Bassett is one of those rare actresses with lots of class. When she was nominated for playing Tina Turner in “What’s Love Got to Do With It” she should have made history as the first black to win Best Actress at the Academy Awards. Unfortunately Halle Berry, a minor acting talent, took the honor for one so-so performance out of 20. Aye chee waa waa.
Bassett received her star on Hollywood Boulevard last week and she was regal in her acceptance, reminding one of the golden age of Hollywood when you dressed and acted like a star. Laurence Fishburne, her co-star in the Ike and Tina saga that made “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolf” seem like “Ozzie and Harriet” was as impish as the other times I have seen him in person. Once with his real-life (at that time) counterpart Ike Turner. Rick Fox, the former Los Angeles Lakers star, was also on hand as he is Angela’s love interest in the just released Tyler Perry family movie, “Here Comes the Browns.” Fox has been choosing his roles carefully as he is taking his acting as seriously as his basketball. But it was last year’s best actor Oscar winner for “Last King of Scotland,” Forest Whitaker, who received the most applause with another of his patented class act speeches. Whitaker should be America’s first black president. He certainly would be its classiest.
And what is with contractor Richard Ferreira as he accuses former Supervisor Bob Cruz of trying to bribe him – six years ago and doing nothing about it until now? I went to school with Richard all through Sacred Heart and Hollister High and believe me, Richard wouldn’t wait six years to strike back or even six seconds. Richard is no dummy. He knows exactly what he is doing.
Could it be political? Oh, I see. Marian Cruz, Bob’s wife, is running for supervisor and has a good chance of knocking off Jaime De La Cruz, the darling of those local contractors like Richard who want Hollister to become San Jose South. Aye chee waa waa. Do you know the way to San Jose?
Having just finished reading the court transcripts I think perjury charges against Richard should begin. But wow justice is slow in Hollister, slower than watching Granny trying to get into a Wonder bra. Aye chee waa waa.
It was 90 degrees Easter Sunday here in Hollywood and for the first time in my life I saw the Easter Bunny lay eggs already hard boiled. Aye chee waa waa. Easter is the holiday that has made me the much-confused man that I am. First of all, when He was born on Christmas day it was Dec. 25 Eastern Standard Time so his birthday, like yours, changes days most years. His rising from the dead happened on a certain day but we always make it seem like he rose on Sunday no matter the year. Then there is the fact that he rose on the third day but he died on Good Friday (What was so good about that Friday also confuses me.) which means he should have risen on Monday.
Guess I’m just getting old, but you know what really makes me feel old? Not just using Depends, my crutches, my cane, my motorized shopping cart, the oxygen tank, false teeth, hearing aid, erectile dysfunction but finding out that Billy Crystal just turned 60. Aye chee waa waa.
