One of the most precious commodities on earth is peace, yet very
few of us know how to get it and keep it. This is particularly true
in our relationships. Why? Because we often refuse to look beyond
our own interests. And even when we want to make peace we often
fail because we don’t understand the peacemaking process. Next time
conflict invades one of your relationships, follow these five
simple steps to making peace:
One of the most precious commodities on earth is peace, yet very few of us know how to get it and keep it. This is particularly true in our relationships. Why? Because we often refuse to look beyond our own interests. And even when we want to make peace we often fail because we don’t understand the peacemaking process. Next time conflict invades one of your relationships, follow these five simple steps to making peace:
Step 1: You take the initiative and plan a peace conference. And do it as soon as possible: “When you discover that someone has something against you… go at once to make peace” (Matthew 5:23-24). Jesus said to do it immediately because the longer you wait, the worse it becomes.
Step 2: Try to understand the other person’s position. 1 Peter 3:8 says, “Be full of sympathy toward each other, loving one another with tender hearts and humble minds.” Understanding the other person’s feelings requires that we listen to them with an open mind. Peacemakers listen before they speak.
Step 3: Attack the problem, not the person. Far too many of us focus on fixing the blame rather than fixing the problem. We need to quit judging and condemning and start working on the problem. “Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed” (Ephesians 4:29).
Step 4: Look for areas of common ground. “Do everything possible on your part to live at peace with all men” (Romans 12:18). “Real wisdom, God’s wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable and willing to yield to others” (James 3:17).
Step 5: Put Jesus Christ at the center of all your relationships. This last step is the heart and soul of what peace is all about. Why? Because it is only through Christ that we can know true peace within ourselves and with others.
One of the Bible’s most basic messages is that Christ made peace for us. “Through Christ, God chose to reconcile us to Himself, making peace through the shedding of His blood upon the cross” (Colossians 1:20). To reconcile something means to make it right (for example, we “reconcile” our checkbook). Christ reconciled us to God; He made things right between us.
2 Corinthians 5:18 takes it a step further: “God has reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation.” God made peace with us and He wants us to be out making peace with others. This is why Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God” (Matthew 5:9). A peacemaker is someone who strives to put Christ, who is our peace, at the center of every relationship.
The Bible inseparably links peace to a relationship with God. Romans 15:13 says, “May the God of hope fill you with great joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” God can fill us so full of peace that it overflows. How? Just as the verse we just read says: “As you trust in Him.” The key to peace is trusting in Christ.
Before Jesus left earth, He left us a very special gift. He said, “I am leaving you with a gift: Peace of mind and heart! And the peace I give isn’t fragile like the peace the world gives. So don’t be troubled or afraid” (John 14:27).
Jesus said His peace was different than the kind the world offers. The world’s peace is fragile because it is based on circumstances, and far too often circumstances are bad, leaving us with no lasting peace. God’s peace, on the other hand, is not fragile because it is not based on circumstances but on a relationship with Christ. And that is the only kind of peace that will endure.
