Global movement looks to get stories from locals
As part of sexual assault awareness month, staff and volunteers
from Community Solutions are hoping to get local men to sit down
for a candid conversation.
The group, which offers counseling and support to women who are
survivors of sexual assault, domestic violence or other forms of
abuse, is participating in a global movement called V-Men to get
men to think about the issue.
Global movement looks to get stories from locals
As part of sexual assault awareness month, staff and volunteers from Community Solutions are hoping to get local men to sit down for a candid conversation.
The group, which offers counseling and support to women who are survivors of sexual assault, domestic violence or other forms of abuse, is participating in a global movement called V-Men to get men to think about the issue.
Emma Lucas, an assistant program director with Community Solutions, said the V-Men movement is an off shoot of V-Day, a global movement to end violence against women and girls. The Web site for V-Day already has stories from some men posted online in which they discuss the ways seeing, participating in or ignoring violence against women has affected their own lives.
Writer Mark Matousek got involved with the project at the request of friend and writer Eve Ensler, who created “The Vagina Monologues,” more than 10 years ago. In an introduction to two dozen pieces posted on the V-Day Web site, Matousek writes, “It became clear to me (as it already was to Eve) that violence against women was not merely a female issue; it was a human dilemma twisting the lives and consciences of men as well; men whose voices needed to be heard in order for the dialogue that began ten years ago with the founding of V-Day to be complete.”
“They are asking people to do smaller groups to gather stories to have a new production,” Lucas said, in the same vein as “The Vagina Monologues, A Memory, A Monologue, A Rant and A Prayer,” which is performed around the world on V-Day to raise money for efforts to stop violence against women.
“Violence is a common problem,” Lucas said. “In order to end violence against women, which is mostly by men, and violence against girls and boys, we need to have a discussion, a dialogue and change the gender role and power/control dynamics.”
Community Solutions volunteer Paul Gutierrez is working to set up a time and place in San Benito County where men can share their stories. The groups will see a presentation on the V-Men movement and will be asked to share their own experiences. The sessions will be limited to men only.
“It will be an open topic, no holds barred,” Gutierrez said.
When he first started reviewing the information in the presentation, he said it brought up some of his own personal issues.
“I grew up in a home with domestic violence,” he said. “I am 10 percent more likely to be an abuser and that did bring up issues. I put myself in their shoes. This is Hollister. It’s a small community and people don’t want to hear something that might hit home.”
Lucas said it may be harder for men to discuss the issues and that it will bring a new voice to the table.
“We’ve heard from women for years and now it’s time to hear from men,” Lucas said. “What do they think is the best way to stop it?”
Lucas said they want comments from men who have witnessed abuse, either as children or bystanders, but also from those who may not have experienced it in their lifetimes who want to stand up and say, “We don’t agree with it.”
The pieces online are from authors, poets, sociologists and others, straight and gay. It runs the gamut of men talking about their experience dealing with abuse against their sisters and mothers, against their daughters and even one man who talks of the ways he tries to teach his son that being masculine does not have to mean being violent.
“It’s not a one-sided issue,” Lucas said.
Though Community Solutions focuses on helping people who are survivors of sexual assault and violence, they do offer referrals for an abuser who is looking for help to stop the cycle.
“It needs to be done in a way that is not shaming, but supportive to help them in being able to change their behavior,” Lucas said.
For help, call 1-877-END-SADV (1-877-363-7238), a 24-hour domestic violence and sexual assault hotline, or call the Hollister office at 637-1094.
