That’s my astrological sign
– don’t change it
There is all kinds of serious news going on in the world
– the aftermath of the horrific shootings in Tucson, riots in
Tunisia, and the like – and really, to look at the Internet, all
anyone really cares about is whether or not their astrology signs
have changed.
Possibly you have heard the story as well. It turns out that
astrology, the ancient art of determining our personalities and
fate according to the stars, is in crisis.
That’s my astrological sign – don’t change it
There is all kinds of serious news going on in the world – the aftermath of the horrific shootings in Tucson, riots in Tunisia, and the like – and really, to look at the Internet, all anyone really cares about is whether or not their astrology signs have changed.
Possibly you have heard the story as well. It turns out that astrology, the ancient art of determining our personalities and fate according to the stars, is in crisis.
It all began when Minnesota astronomy instructor Parke Kunkle was interviewed last week and happened to mention that the 12 zodiac signs we all know and love – Aquarius, Pisces and so forth, on through Capricorn – really don’t line up the way they’re supposed to. Earth happens to have a wobbly orbit, and so it is no longer aligned to the constellations in the same way as when astrology began, thousands of years ago.
Kunkle points out that this “news” is nothing new – astronomers have known about it for centuries – and yet millions of Americans are freaking out about it.
Because of the shift, most of the people who thought they were born under one sign are really one up from that. So Taurus people became Aries, and so forth. I myself have always thought I was a Scorpio and it turns out that, unbeknownst to me, I’m actually a lifelong Libra.
Not only that, but a whole new 13th astrological sign has been introduced, and one that is near impossible to spell or pronounce. Ophiuchus the Serpent Bearer is the designated sign for those born from Nov. 30 to Dec. 17.
All of this has been endlessly discussed and dissected on the Internet and a lot of people out there are none too happy about it.
“Give me my sign back,” was one phone message that Kunkle received at his office at Minneapolis Community and Technical College, where the phone has been ringing off the hook this past week.
“This is not new news. Almost every astronomy class talks about it,” said Kunkle in a recent interview.
Poor guy – he was the one who had to break it to the nation, and now he’s getting the blame.
Now astrology adherents across the country are having an identity crisis. All their lives they believed themselves to be one thing, and they’re really another. Which horoscope entry should they follow? The old one, the new one, or both?
And speaking of which, will astrologers change their newspaper columns to reflect the sign of Ophiuchus? And just what are the characteristics of someone born in the shadow of the Serpent Bearer?
Weighty matters, indeed.
To reassure people who depend on reading the horoscope first thing in the morning to find out whether it’s worth getting out of bed, The Newswire.com had these words of wisdom on its site.
“Astrology is an ancient practice, dating back to 3,000 years ago. As many years have passed, the Earth’s position relative to the sun has changed. Fortunately for some, though many people may now be born under a different sign, experts reveal that the new sign should not affect horoscope readings.”
Um … come again?
So I guess none of this really means anything anyway, and people can just be whatever sign they feel like being.
Now I’m totally confused.
Am I a Scorpio or a Libra? I don’t know, and maybe I don’t really care. But just to be on the safe side, I’m reading both horoscopes tomorrow – just to be on the safe side.
