What began in 1981 as a
”
Day of Unity
”
and grew to a week of awareness has now grown to a month of
focusing attention on an oft-hidden problem in society
– domestic abuse. Community Solutions launched Domestic Violence
Awareness Month 2003 with a bilingual press conference Tuesday at
the Community and Cultural Center.
What began in 1981 as a “Day of Unity” and grew to a week of awareness has now grown to a month of focusing attention on an oft-hidden problem in society – domestic abuse. Community Solutions launched Domestic Violence Awareness Month 2003 with a bilingual press conference Tuesday at the Community and Cultural Center.
“Besides the fear, there was embarrassment,” said the first of the victims, “Sandy,” to tell her story during the press conference. “The officers who responded to the house many times were officers I had known my whole life … And I didn’t realize at the time the ripple effect the abuse had. On my kids, my mother, my neighbors, my co-workers. But especially my kids. I could not even take care of myself; how could I take care of them?”
Community Solutions’ Lisa DeSilva said the agency wants to make sure victims of domestic violence are aware of the help that is available. She said many of the women who came to the battered women’s shelter supported by Community Solutions seeking help fortunately come into contact with someone who told them they could get help.
“What they told us, their reasons for not seeking help earlier, had a common thread – fear and a lack of knowledge of what help was available,” said DeSilva. “When we asked them, they told us they were afraid they would be deported, because many of them are undocumented, they told us they were afraid they would lose their children, they don’t speak English, they don’t understand the system.”
Cynthia Hasson, an attorney with the Legal Aid Society who was one of the panel members during the press conference, said the fear and misinformation is commonly fostered by the abuser.
“Most of the time they are depending on the abuser for their information,” she said. “They believe what they are told, that if they seek help, they will put themselves or their children in jeopardy. Most of the time, these women have no where else to turn, no family or friends to help them.”
Sgt. David Swing of the MHPD was also on the panel. He said he wants to make it clear that police officers are not the victims’ enemies, but want to protect them.
“Our greatest challenge in this as police officers is two-fold: first, a personnel issue, that we need to train more officers to be bilingual; and second, to educate the community on our role as law enforcement officers,” he said. “We are not there to deal with immigration issues. Our job is to provide for the safety and security of the victim and the safety and security of the children.”
The threat of losing her children was a major factor that kept the second victim to tell her story at the press conference, “Betty,” from leaving an abusive marriage. Through translator Perla Flores of Community Solutions, “Betty” told the audience how she had come to this country as a young woman, full of hopes and dreams, and, as a result of a rape was forced to marry an abusive man. There were many times, she said, that she feared for her life and her children’s lives.
But outwardly, the marriage appeared to be happy. “Betty’s” abusive husband would tell her that there was no place she could go for help. If she tried to get help, he would take the children away. He also told her nobody would believe her if she told about the abuse: “Everyone knows what a great guy I am, they would think you are crazy.”
Flores said “Betty” wants to let all victims know that they are not alone, that they need to ask for help and there are people that will help them do what they have to do to get out of the abusive relationship.
Something the community can do to help, “Sandy” said, is to be more sensitive.
