HOLY SMOKES
It’s not often when a newspaper becomes part of the news.
HOLY SMOKES
It’s not often when a newspaper becomes part of the news. But one of our Red Phone callers pointed out this week that in January while she was working at Social Vocational Services, Inc., located next to the Free Lance’s newsroom, she had to rush inside the newspaper’s office to alert the secretary that the editorial staff’s large popcorn tin can, which has been turned into an ashtray and trash can, was on fire.
“Holy smokes!” exclaimed the Crimson Crusader upon learning of such a mishap. The caller went on to complain about dozens of yellow cigarette butts that litter the side entry way to the newsroom, which unfortunately don’t make it into the trash can.
The Crimson Crusader’s disappointment was, needless to say, overwhelming. Upon seeing and examining the stinky evidence around the ashtray, the Crusader’s disillusionment with the perpetrators of this crime, turned to anger. Demanding an explanation from the staff proved meaningless. Anger set in. The crusader’s pink face grew many shades of crimson. We were ready to take action.
We first reported the incident to the newspaper’s editor. He then spoke to the staff. Although no one took responsibility for the fire in the ashtray and the subsequent littering, all agreed to do their part to keep the butts inside the can.
One staffer commented that smoking outside of the newsroom is perfectly legal as it’s not considered a public place. He also noted that the littering was not in violation of city code. We checked with code enforcement, who said cigarette littering is illegal, if not downright disgusting. The butts outside of our newsroom are part of the estimated several trillion littered worldwide every year. They take decades to degrade. Cigarette litter ruins even the most picturesque setting and its toxic residue in cigarette filters damages the environment.
Our Red Phone caller said our staffers are acting like “pigs” when they fail to properly discard their butts in the can. She also said flickering their butts on the ground “is a reflection of how they feel about themselves.”
The Crimson Crusader is determined to stop cigarette litter around the newspaper. To immediately reduce the amount of butts on the ground, we will monitor, on a daily basis, staffers who take a smoking break around the scene of the crime. We will report to the editor those who, unthinkingly, dump their butts on the ground. The Crimson Crusader is not a smoker. We promise to work hard to eliminate this unnecessary nuisance, which is also toxic and poses a threat to small animals who can be poisoned with the chemicals released from the butts. We hope that those who have been involved in cigarette littering around the Free Lance will think twice about lighting up, if they’re going to improperly dispose of their cigarette. We also hope they remember the Surgeon General’s warning that cigarette smoke contains carbon monoxide.
ST. PATRICK’S TRIVIA
A caller yesterday, on St. Patrick’s Day, left us a message saying how years ago, when she was in high school, her English teacher would read to her and her fellow classmates from a trivia book when they got their work done early. She recalled how her teacher told the class that on St. Patrick’s Day green was worn by Irish Catholics and orange was worn by Irish Protestants. She wondered if the only people who wear green on this holiday are Catholics and if everyone else is supposed to wear orange. She said she has never heard or read this information before. She also said she didn’t remember the name of the book her now-deceased teacher read it from and has no way of finding out if there is any truth to it.
She asked for the Red Phone’s assistance in finding out if there’s any truth to this information.
To find the appropriate answer for our caller, we did some research on the Internet and learned that while most people in the United States wear green to celebrate the holiday, which commemorates the patron saint of Ireland, many children in Ireland wear the Irish flag’s colors of green, white and orange. We also learned that orange is often a color worn by Protestant Irish to express their discontent with the Catholic Church. The famous New York City St. Patrick’s parade has long been boycotted by certain groups, who have started wearing orange on the day of the celebration to protest their discontent. So the answer to our caller is that the piece of information she received from her venerable English teacher is correct, and that on St. Patrick’s Day it’s OK to wear any color one desires – unless they’re devoted to the traditional observance of St. Patrick’s, which makes many Americans and Irish wear green to show solidarity toward our Irish brothers and sisters and have some fun.
The Crimson Crusader was wearing its green cape while writing this question’s response. Those who represent the red-colored seeker of justice here in the newsroom say to our readers: “Happy St. Patrick’s Day.” We also urge you to remember the fourth-century religious leader’s concern for social justice.
