Racism? Si si!
Despite always being caught with their pants down Congress
stiffs the porno industry when they ask for a stimulus bailout. The
porno industry has always been there for us with a stimulus
package. Right on the other side of the Hollywood Hills is our San
Fernando Valley whose biggest industry is porn and business is
flaccid. Some of my friends have even resorted to having sex with
their wives. Oy vey!
Racism? Si si!
Despite always being caught with their pants down Congress stiffs the porno industry when they ask for a stimulus bailout. The porno industry has always been there for us with a stimulus package. Right on the other side of the Hollywood Hills is our San Fernando Valley whose biggest industry is porn and business is flaccid. Some of my friends have even resorted to having sex with their wives. Oy vey!
Best Golden Globes: Penelope Cruz’s.
Racists in Hollister? They are running Hollister and now want to run the county Board of Supervisors. A group of white men meet to plan out how to get more white people on the council and the San Benito County Board of Supervisors.
What? I got it wrong? It can’t be racist because the group is of the Mexican persuasion. Only whites are racist. Who is Señor Grande behind Sombreros R Us under the guise of just politics and not racism? My chimichanga keeps coming up with the initials R.W. No, no it’s R.Y. Aye chee waa waa!
Historians and sociologists will try to explain how angry a nation we are but my son, David, who is neither nailed it. “Dad, how angry of a society are we when Burger King names its new Whopper the Angry Whopper.”
The only thing that angers me is the smug Barbara Walters as she puts down Joe the Plumber who is going to Iraq to cover the war. She makes fun of him because he’s not a journalist but a plumber. Like what the hell has Walters covered in the last 50 years but celebrities like Paris Hilton. Anyone can write for a newspaper. I’m the perfect example of that. But how many of us can fix a toilet?
I saw Clint Eastwood’s “Gran Torino” over five weeks ago as it was playing exclusively in Hollywood and New York until its wide release last week. It opened No. 1 and the biggest box office opener ever for an Eastwood movie. Women love it and it is my favorite movie of the year and the best acting by Clint Eastwood since “Francis the Talking Mule in the Navy.” Francis was made in 1955 and over 50 years later Eastwood at 78 is still our best actor and best director no matter what that self-indulgent Bruce Springstink thinks.
San Juan is dead. Not San Juan Bautista but Olga San Juan, one of my favorite actresses of the 1940s and ’50s. I made a vow at that time that my first daughter would be named Olga. We had a boy so we named him Olga. Mean little sucker
Glad Colin Farrell won the Golden Globe for “In Bruges” but it definitely won in the wrong category. It is not a comedy. It is a bloody “Pulp Fiction-esque” film noir with dark comic undertones like watching Barbra Streisand making love to George Bush and you feel sorry for Bush.
Happier yet that Mickey Rourke won but as I warned you two weeks ago “The Wrestler” is a vile, difficult film to watch. If you are not into drowning in underarm sweat armed only with a 99-Cent Store deodorant that expired the same day Hirohito died then just take my word: he deserved the award. But don’t bother with the movie.
Hope the Ravens and the Eagles don’t get to the Super Bowl as the Super Bowl will be for the birds.
The answer to last week’s Quick Quiz worth 50 Big Bob’s Bonus Points was “Arizona Dream” being the only film where Jerry Lewis was halfway competent as an entertainer as the Yugoslavian director Emir Kusturica took no crap off him and cut out his usual annoying mugging.
This week’s Quick Quiz: Dean Martin, the superior in the Martin and Lewis team, was in a war movie with Marlon Brando. Why? For 250 extra Big Bob Bonus Points, what was the name of the movie? Hint: it’s the one where Brando mumbles.
Finally! My first 2009 call from the little old lady with blue hair. “Mr. Venzykulu, Mr. Venzykulu, you should be ashamed for making fun of saying a Mexican president of the United States would have Air Force One parked on the White House lawn on blocks and I think you should apologize.”
The little old lady with blue hair is right and I want to apologize. What I meant to say was that on the White House lawn on blocks would be Air Force Juan.
