Go west, young man
A man from Sanger is arrested for smacking another man with an
8-inch sausage. When I lived in San Francisco I just called that
foreplay.
Beg, borrow or steal a Sept. 23 copy of the Hollister Fifty Cent
Lance and turn to page A4. Ignacio Velazquez writes the most cogent
article ever written on how the city of Hollister and its citizens
can profit big-time from the motorcycle rally. The city council
should print Ignacio’s article on T-shirts and sell them.
Go west, young man
A man from Sanger is arrested for smacking another man with an 8-inch sausage. When I lived in San Francisco I just called that foreplay.
Beg, borrow or steal a Sept. 23 copy of the Hollister Fifty Cent Lance and turn to page A4. Ignacio Velazquez writes the most cogent article ever written on how the city of Hollister and its citizens can profit big-time from the motorcycle rally. The city council should print Ignacio’s article on T-shirts and sell them.
As my stocks fell faster than a Hollywood starlet’s Fruit of the Looms I am forced to sell many of my prized collectibles. My rare autographed copy of the Bible. When I bought it I was assured by the seller, a respectable used car salesman still living in Hollister, that mine was rarer than the others he was selling.
The other Bibles had autographs of Jesus and just some of the apostles. Mine not only had Jesus’ signature but all 12 of the disciples and as a great bonus, the waiter at the Last Supper, Morrie Goldstein. While the others just signed their names Goldstein’s is my favorite. “Oy vey, you call this a tip?”
This week’s pop quiz: I’m listening to my Buddy Holly all-time hits. Why was John Wayne the inspiration for “That’ll Be the Day?”
The Hazel Hawkins Hospital Board in Hollister is the world’s most efficient elected body. For some reason the hospital board attracts the best and brightest. Unlike Congress, the Assembly, the Board of Supervisors or city councils, they practice sound business principles. No need to change the hospital board, but if you’re bored with board faces and just want to add a new face with the same sound business principles then look to the west. Jim West.
Al Davis is a class act. Almost as classy as Okrah’s mother. Okrah’s mom says she shouldn’t have to pay her bill at a classy fashion store because they were the ones who extended her credit. Aye chee waa waa.
Week before last’s pop quiz answer was James Arness of “Gunsmoke” fame played the title monster in “The Thing.” Last week’s answer was one of my favorites as it has gotten me more free drinks at bars. What role did Paul Newman audition for in “East of Eden” and who did he lose out to? Ninety-nine percent immediately say James Dean. In fact, James Dean had the role from the beginning. Newman tried out for the role of Dean’s younger brother but it went to Richard Davalos. People will always remember Richard Davalos but who will ever remember Paul Newman?
By the way, the film version of “East of Eden” is indeed a masterpiece but unfortunately only covered part of the John Steinbeck saga. The more complete version, a made-for-television effort, is much more satisfying. By the way, if Salinas High School in the mini-series seems to look a lot like Hollister High that is because it is. Aye chee waa waa. Much of the movie was filmed in Hollister and San Juan Bautista.
George Jones has died. Not that George Jones. The George Jones who gave us those great rock ‘n’ roll lyrics, “Rama lama ding dong.” True story: the original title was “Lama rama ding dong.” Thank God they changed it around as it sure made a difference. Jones and his group lasted about as long as their namesake, “The Edsels.” Aye chee waa waa.
I object to that grumpy couple who everyone laughs at behind their backs when they go around saying that when I left Hollister it was no great loss. When I left Hollister I was a big loss to Hollister. Hollister no longer has a village idiot. Aye chee waa waa.
