I’m dying for a job at Walmart
Hollister is the only city in the world that can attract up to
100,000 tourists on a weekend who spend big bucks on restaurants,
motels, hotels, supermarkets, bars, churches, souvenirs and
department stores and still lose money. You can thank Sheriff
Curtis Hill for the loss. Aye chee waa waa. Now if we could just
lose Sheriff Hill.
I’m dying for a job at Walmart
Hollister is the only city in the world that can attract up to 100,000 tourists on a weekend who spend big bucks on restaurants, motels, hotels, supermarkets, bars, churches, souvenirs and department stores and still lose money. You can thank Sheriff Curtis Hill for the loss. Aye chee waa waa. Now if we could just lose Sheriff Hill.
Since I was 18 I always take the same part-time Christmas season job but this year Nancy thought I should take a less stressful job so I got on the list to be a Walmart greeter. A position opened up as a Walmart greeter was trampled to death when they opened the gates on the day after Thanksgiving.
Luckily I had a backup plan. What harm could come working at a Toys R Us? The day after Thanksgiving the local Toys R Us is the scene of a shootout with both dead. Dead R Us.
Guess I’ll just continue with my usual holiday job that I have been doing for over 50 Christmas seasons. Car crash test dummy.
Speaking of dummies, don’t you feel a little stupid that you believed his lies that he was going to bring change to the White House? Looks like the same old Bill Clinton gang. All Obama needs to complete the retro Clinton White House is speed dial Monica Lewinsky. Aye chee waa waa … brag, brag.
Let me be the first to wish you a merry Christmas as soon the politically correct wimps will be wishing you “happy holidays.” First they steal the reason for the season and now they all want to steal the season.
This sounds just like Hollister to me. The cops are called because of a loud party. The teens are arrested because they are drunk and then the cops call the parents who arrive driving drunk and are also arrested. Aye chee waa waa. Then the cops call the grandparents and – yep – grandma and grandpa in their Imperial Continental with fins are snockered when they arrive at the police station to bail out their kids and grandkids. Family values. I’ll drink to that. “You drive; you’re too drunk to sing.”
I love Spam. My son David even bought me a great book on the history of Spam. I am not the least bit surprised that about the only company making more money than before the Democrats took over the Congress two years ago is the maker of Spam. Spam employees are enjoying big overtime pay. Spam what am. Better than ham or yams. I love Spam. I am truly thankful at this Thanksgiving time when we stuffed a 10-pound can of Spam. No turkeys were killed to make us happy. And guess what? We had no takers as guests. Another reason to thank Spam.
Movie critics have a lot of power. The worst reviewed movie of the year, if not the decade, “Four Christmases” opened to the third best all-time holiday season box office ever. Forty-six million dollars, while the highly touted Oscar written all over it “Milk” sours at 1 million.
Last week’s Quick Quiz answer was that Harvey Milk did not die heroically but according to Dan White who shot him it was his last-second smirk.
This week’s Quick Quiz is in what movie 26 years after his Oscar win in “Stalag 17” did William Holden reprise his Academy Award-winning character? And for an unprecedented 50 extra Big Bob bonus points, what character did I play in the San Benito Junior College rendition of “Stalag 17?” The local Hollister radio station which was an English language station back in the 1950s and early ’60s said I was the worst thing in the play with my overacting. Yet I got the biggest applause of all. In the last second of the play I got shot dead. Someone yelled, “you should have shot him in the first act.”
Joe Montana’s son Nick, who quarterbacks down here for Oaks Christian High School, is nothing like his dad, whose last-minute winning drives in the fourth quarter are legendary. Heck, his son doesn’t even play the third or fourth quarter. What? It’s because in the first half of all of his division games they have led by an average of 44 points. More points than the 49ers have scored in the last four years.
I rightfully came down pretty hard on San Benito County Clerk Joe Paul Gonzalez despite the fact that he is the best and brightest government employee in San Benito County, if not the United States including parts of Morgan Hill. Joe Paul is a fast learner and I doubt he will allow perceived lack of attention to ever take away from the reality again. There are only two things I hate in life: slow final vote counts and the guy who stole my wife and then brought her back.
