Most of us have seen the sports shows that go behind the scenes with a player or coach to reveal some humorous or perhaps real-life human moments. I had, as some readers may know, the wonderful opportunity to caddie on the PGA Tour for George Archer in the early 1980s. In those five years, I heard some classic one-liners and short quotes that are sure to make the avid and maybe even not-so-avid golfer have a chuckle at the great game we play.
One year in the early 1980s while I was packing the bag in the Crosby National Pro-Am, now known as the AT&T, Roger Maltbie had a memorable quip after George made a par on the 13th hole at Pebble Beach despite never seeing the fairway. “George can get it up and down out of a garbage can if he had to,” Maltbie said.
Walking onto the fabled 16th tee at the Cypress Point Club in another year at the Crosby, George took his ball and tossed into the cove of the Pacific Ocean that guarded this great hole on the Monterey peninsula. “You have to feed the golf gods once in a while to keep them happy,” he said. He proceeded to hit his shot to within about 15 feet of the pin and made the putt for birdie.
Another year, while playing in Tucson, we were out to dinner with fellow PGA Tour player Don Bies. We were at a buffet-style restaurant and had just sat down to eat. Now George and I both were not big talkers while eating and we were making quick work of our food. In the meantime, Don was still seasoning his food, placing his napkin on his lap and organizing himself. George looks up and without missing a beat says, “Don, c’mon. This isn’t the last supper. Hurry up.”
At the Phoenix Open in 1982, George was paired with Lee Trevino who, at the time, had well-known caddie Herman Mitchell on his bag. Lee wasn’t playing very well that particular tournament and Herman was agonizing over their misfortune as well. After Lee missed a very makeable birdie putt and was in danger of missing the cut, Herman and I were walking down the fairway ahead of our players. Suddenly Herman turns to me and blurts “He better start making those putts. He’s crazy if he thinks he is going to miss those putts. I got bills to pay!”
There was an manufacturer who introduced a putter around 1983 known as the Backassward Putter. To say that it was strange looking would be an understatement. George was and still is regarded as one of the finest putters the game has known and this club designer dearly wanted George to endorse his putter. It just so happened that PGA Tour great Gene Littler was using the putter that week at the Los Angeles Open and was paired with George. After the club builder made several attempts to convince George that this was truly a putter that was going take the market by storm, he reminded George that Gene was using it and enjoying success that week. Archer looks at him and says, “Gene could putt with a broom handle and he’s proving it this week.” Conversation over.
Playing on some very bumpy greens in a particular tournament one year, George uttered this one to me as we walking off the green towards the next hole. “Did you see that one Steve? It looked like a drunk crab running up to the hole.”
George was as human and down to earth as they come and I am lucky to have known him and to have had the opportunity to learn the game from him. In this day and age of the high-profile, pampered athlete, he was the polar opposite. We lost George nearly a year ago to illness, but some of these quips still bring a smile to my face and remind me to smell the roses and most of all to enjoy the game when day-to-day stress can take its toll. Sometimes I can still hear him say, “Hey pro, I’m in town. Let’s go play some golf.”
