Not too long ago, Debbie Ruiz was a single mother on welfare.
She had two sons, not enough money and a lot of shame when she went
grocery shopping and had to pull out her food stamps. She lived in
Gilroy, where she still resides, and remembers the hot
embarrassment she felt as familiar faces walked by.
Hollister – Not too long ago, Debbie Ruiz was a single mother on welfare. She had two sons, not enough money and a lot of shame when she went grocery shopping and had to pull out her food stamps. She lived in Gilroy, where she still resides, and remembers the hot embarrassment she felt as familiar faces walked by.
Today, Ruiz, age 40, is a massage therapist, a women’s self-defense instructor and case manager working to educate Hollister residents about domestic violence and sexual assault.
Once a week, she goes to La Isla women’s shelter to talk to victims of abuse about how to stand up to potential aggressors and defend themselves.
“Each of us has something that we are strong in,” she says. “I try to find that in the women I work with.”
She could say the same thing for herself. As a student in high school, Ruiz was shy. She hung out with her three sisters – Deanna, Deneen and Donna – and a few friends. She started working at a local chiropractor’s office at 18, where she met her future husband, a patient. They were married for seven and a half years but divorced because the relationship turned abusive.
Still Ruiz didn’t think to turn her own experience into a career. Instead, she began attending Gavilan Community College to become an X-ray technician. She needed a good salary with benefits to support her growing boys, Paul and Rey, who are 19 and 15, and thought the job was a perfect fit. But classes were hard. She had always had trouble with school and found herself struggling with the course load. She repeated and dropped classes but still refused to accept defeat. Then tragedy struck. Her mother, Tillie Havens, to whom Ruiz had always been close, died. It was 1997.
Debbie Ruiz decided to reevaluate her life. She took time off and when she was ready to return to school, spoke with her adviser who recommended she try the counselor track. Ruiz was still not convinced.
“I had no interest in it really and could not imagine myself doing this type of work,” she said.
But she was also tired of struggling. At the time, she was working at Gavilan Community College, at a doctor’s office and pulling a graveyard shift at Wal-Mart. She decided to apply for the job and was more than surprised when she got it.
The position was a social worker with Community Solutions, a Gilroy-based nonprofit that empowers members of the community through training programs and has an office on Fourth Street in Hollister, where Ruiz works. The job was part of former President Clinton’s welfare-to-work program. Five years after accepting the job with some hesitance, Ruiz is still there today and loving it.
Ruiz says that in addition to having a supportive family and friends, she belongs to a Bible group that helps her through the hard times and keeps her grounded and focused.
“I’ve always had a strong will and maybe was a bit stubborn,” she said. “I strove to do the best I can and I am happy with the result.”
Karina Ioffee covers education for the Free Lance. Reach her at (831)637-5566 ext. 335 or
ki*****@fr***********.com
